


This Is Why We (You) Can't Have Nice Things (Cellphones)

by fiddleogold_againstyoursoul



Series: Death Meets Life. It's Not Pretty. [4]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-05-24 21:35:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 32,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6167560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiddleogold_againstyoursoul/pseuds/fiddleogold_againstyoursoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where the notes are longer than the actual story, the author gets excited over fanart and GIFs, and two dorks fall in love.<br/>Solangelo Wrong Message AU, ongoing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. rawr means i love you in dinosaur XD :3 ROFLMAO

**Author's Note:**

> I'm officially Solangelo trash. Wow.  
> More Solangelo fics no one asked for :)))

**23:39  
JASON MOTHERF**KING GRACE I AM GOING TO KILL YOU.**

23:42  
whoa there. children might be reading this convo. watch that mouth.

23:42  
Why've you got your panties in a twist?

 **23:42  
** **Don't even act as if you're clueless. You gave my number to the creepy bar guy, didn't you? I TOLD YOU TO STOP SETTING ME UP WITH PEOPLE.**

 **23:43  
** **He called me thrice and wouldn't hang up until I said I would call the police.**

23:44  
sorry. Except you've got the wrong number, girlie. I'm not your matchmaking friend.

 **23:45  
** **What?**

 **23:47**  
**Oh. Crap. He changed his number.**

**23:48  
Delete and forget everything I said to you.**

23:48  
That's a bit harsh.

23:50  
Don't blame you, though. I'd be pissed if my friends did that to me.

 **23:52  
** **Oh, you have no fucking clue.**

 

*****

 

09:00  
why did you bother to censor out the swear word the first time but not the last?

 **09:05  
** **Because Jason gets hissy when I swear.**

**09:06  
Why are you texting me?**

09:07  
bored, I guess. did you chew Mr Cupid out last night?

 **09:07  
** **He's not returning my calls. I'm going to kill him tonight.**

09:09  
ooh. manslaughter. always nice to hear about. 

09:10  
i suggest an axe to the head. blood goes everywhere, and it looks so cool.

 **09:12  
** **I'll keep that in mind, thanks. Don't think I have an axe, though.**

09:13  
that's okay, slow boiling over a flame is entertaining too. 

**09:13  
You often text strangers? And with...rather disturbing tips to kill people?**

09:13  
You often text back strangers? with actually amazing tips to kill people with? pfft. ungrateful. i'll keep my tips to myself next time, then.

 **09:15**  
**Hmph. Point taken.**

**09:16  
But if you're so bored, surely you can find something better to do than listen to me ranting about my friends trying to play Cupid?**

09:17  
nah. my friend Lou is over but she's making chocolate chip cookies or something. messing up my kitchen. S'OK. her baking isn't bad at all.

09:17  
besides, you're interesting, stranger.

**09:19  
Huh. **

**09:20  
HI THIS IS NEEK NEEKS' FRIEND PERCY AND I NEED TO STEAL NEEKS AWAY FOR A BIT **

**09:21  
HE'LL TALK TO YOU LATER**

09:23  
uh...okay?

09:24  
don't kill anyone yet, not unless you film it for me with really gorey shots btfw.

 

*****

 

 **14:02**  
**I'm going to kill either Jason or Percy and I feel as if a few of your tips wouldn't be very bad to have at hand.**

14:04  
Surprise, surprise. I'm not actually a serial killer.

 **14:05  
** **Oh wow, you can talk with proper punctuation. That's more of a surprise, if you ask me.**

14:05  
i'm ofFENdeD!!111! nEEkS11!!

 **14:06  
** **PLEASE DON'T.**

14:08  
XD #teamedward ftw lolz i'm so randum 

 **14:08  
** **Oh my god.**

14:10  
i'LL have u know I'm SCREAMING XD :3 Rawr means i love you in dinosaur LOLZ ROFLMAO

14:10  
hehe i can memorise the whole LLAMA SONG i'm sorry but i'm just so randum XD it's a way of life only COOL people can understand. 

14:10  
i'd offer to teach u but i dont think you qualify as cool haha jk jk you know rite XD LOLZ 

14:11  
Do you ever cringe so hard you give yourself a double chin just from doing that?

 **14:11  
** **That was terrifying, and I'm sorry. Please don't do that ever again.**

14:12  
I promise, Mr Neek Neeks. 

14:13  
Is that your name, by the way? That's a rather strange name to have. I mean, not judging. My friend back in primary school was named "Gup Gup".

 **14:13  
** **Thankfully, it isn't, though that would certainly be...interesting. So you've come to terms about the fact that I'm not a "girlie", have you? Mr Dont-Murder-Someone-Unless-You-Film-It-For-Me.**

14:15  
Yeah, but something is bugging me. if you're a guy, how can your friends set you up with guys?

14:15  
...oh.

 **14:16  
** **Getting the [picture] yet?**

14:17  
yeah. sorry.

14:17  
Uh, you said you were mad at your friends? why?

 **14:17  
** **They. Are. In. My. House. Without. Permission.**

**14:18  
I don't even know what they're trying to do to be honest. There's Jason (the guy I yelled at when I texted you on accident) and his girlfriend Piper, and Percy and Annabeth. They're an item too. **

**14:18  
JACKSON JUST DROPPED PIPER'S CUPCAKES OH HE'S SO SCREWED**

14:19  
English, please?

 **14:20  
** **I have to go. Maybe I'll talk to you later, stranger.**

14:23  
oh.

14:24  
um, so long as i can call you neek neeks, i guess you can call me what my friends do.

14:26  
sol? i guess.

14:27  
 bye bye. RAWR MEANS I LOVE YOU IN DINOSAUR BTFW LOLZ XD

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked if I based the last chapter off of danisnotonfire and while I didn't, I am a massive fan of him and Phil, and am sad because they'll never come to Asia for their tour.
> 
> Anyways, this is the new chapter! (yey)

06:51  
hey, uh, neeks?

06:53  
you're prolly sleeping, but i need someone to talk to

06:54  
heLP

 

*

**09:18  
** **I don't sleep.**

09:20  
oh my god, you sound more pretentious with every text tbfh

09:21  
thanks btw

09:23  
i almost died of boredom.

**09:25  
** **I don't usually answer people who text me at 7AM.**

**09:25  
What was it you wanted, anyway?**

09:27  
company, you asshat.

09:28  
i work the early shift at this burger place so i can go to school while getting paid and we only have a few customers at that hour but aside from the regulars there was this creepy old guy that reminds me of that janitor guy from Life Is Strange.

**09:31  
** **You mean Samuel?**

09:32  
OHH MY GOSH YOU PLAY LIS

09:32  
YOU'RE NOT SO PRETENTIOUS ANYMORE I WAS KIDDING I LOVE YOU

**09:33  
** **Is everyone at your workplace so bipolar?**

**09:35  
Doesn't sound like something very interesting to do, flipping burgers.**

**09:36  
Also, be nice to Samuel. He's got to take care of his squirrels. They'd die without him.**

**09:36  
Hello?**

09:38  
i;m texting frm class dont pressure me

09:39  
mr brown is comin over ok gottago neeks bye

 

*

14:12  
you nearly got me busted there, neeks. 

**14:15  
** **I didn't know you were texting in class.**

**14:16  
I didn't even know you were allowed to bring cellphones to school. I thought that was a no-no thing. **

14:16  
let me guess, homeschool?

**14:18  
** **Actually, yes.**

**14:19**  
**Pretentious enough for you, Sol?**

14:22  
so very pretentious.

14:23  
i don't actually know anyone who's homeschooled tbfh. 

14:23  
you're special, neek neeks.

**14:25  
** **Glad to hear it. So, school's let out, then?**

14:26  
sort of? for me, yeah. the seniors get let out early cos our exams are over.

**14:27  
** **Ah.**

**14:28  
So, at your burger place thing, do you often compare people to video game characters, or...?**

14:30  
you're seriously interested?

14:31  
well, that's cos we're bored.

**14:32  
Ah, yes. Flipping burgers. Making milkshakes. Watching ol' Samuel talk to his hands. Must be so interesting.**

14:33  
yeah, no. sometimes we get people who tip. that's nice.

14:34  
hbu? work any shifts?

14:34  
or am i talking to an employed adult slash pedophile who finds it in his best interest to chat up an underage boy?

**14:35  
Hnn yes my underage boy senses are tingling. Must...find...source...must...buy...burgers...**

**14:36  
Somehow I'm having a hard time believing you're not of age.**  

14:37  
i actually am legal. i was kidding. 

14:37  
senior year high school. 

**14:38  
** ***disappointed pedophile skulks off***

14:38  
oh dear, now he's going for little billy. billy NOOOO BILLY *flashbacks to Lolita*

**14:39  
** **BILLY IS MINE NOW HUEHUEHUE No, seriously though. I work part-time at the library. And...we're more or less the same age. Eighteen, nineteen?**

14:40  
ohh boy 

14:41  
you're a sexy librarian then? "can i check those out for you" "i'm going to have to fine you, mister" with a hip sway?

**14:43  
** **I don't think I know where this conversation is headed, and frankly, it's scaring me. Also, I *don't* sway my hips. Ever.**

14:43  
neeks, you don't give me anything to work with.

**14:44  
** **Fine, how about this mental image instead.**

**14:45  
Awkward Goth kid avoiding your eye and hoping you'll *not* try to speak to me, *not* try to flirt with me and just leave when I finish checking out your books.**

14:46  
i think i've read fanfiction about that sort of thing somewhere. **  
**

**14:48  
I'm putting an end to this very weird conversation.**

14:48  
aww, neeks.

*

14:50  
_Who is that you're texting, Neeks?_

**14:51  
None of your business, Jackson.**

**14:53  
How do you even know I'm texting someone?**

14:54  
_Cos you get that weird furrow thing in your eyebrows when you are, and you only look at your phone to go on that emo blog you're crazy about or to communicate with other emos._

**14:55  
Go back to sucking your girlfriend's face off. **

**14:56  
OH MY GOD I DIDN'T MEAN LITERALLY DON'T JUST SNOG HER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RESTAURANT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MAN**

**14:58  
PERCY JACKSON I'M NEVER THIRD WHEELING AT ONE OF YOUR DATES AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Constructive criticism is lovely and I will appreciate it!  
> -Friendless Author


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, wow. I've had some really nice feedback for this fic so far, even though I've been messing around a little. I'll try to be consistent in updating, but life as a secondary school student is daunting, and I can't make any promises.
> 
> If any of you lovelies want to come into contact with me, you could come visit my fandom Instagram account (on which I shit-post a lot, so you could also not, but it's a handy way to contact me if you'd like) @smol_asiansatan. 
> 
> Before I forget, you can also contact me on Tumblr [ here.](http://theswiftone27.tumblr.com)

20:22  
Hey Neek Neeks slash random stranger who I occasionally talk to when I'm bored

20:25  
hello?

20:26  
You can't seriously be still weirded out about what I said about the fanfiction.

20:26  
I HAVE A LOT OF FREE TIME OKAY

20:28  
NOTICE ME

 **20:31**  
**Hello Sol slash random stranger who gets pissy when I ignore his texts for too long**

20:32  
oh yay you're not dead

20:33  
I was getting worried.

 **20:35**  
**Would you have sent flowers to my funeral, Sol?**

20:35  
of course, neeks.

20:36  
I would've scoured the papers for you and written a sad obituary. Then I would release a raven from my window and watch it flap away majestically with a single manly tear dripping down my cheek.

 **20:37  
Only one tear? That's a bit selfish, don't you think? At least afford me a full wet hankie.**  

20:39  
neeks, look, i can't just give away my tears. You've gotta earn them, and honestly, so far you've been a bit of a dick. No hankies for you.

 **20:41**  
**Hmm. Point taken.**

**20:43  
I'm interested in the obituary, however. Would it be sappy or straight-forward...?**

20:44  
To be frank, I've never even read one, but

20:50  
Most dear of Neek Neeks, who I knew only from his dickish texts on my phone but managed to be intimate with anyway, passed away on 11th of March 2016. He must've been a nice person when he was not yelling at people for being friends with him and wanting his attention or when he wasn't fining someone at the library for late books due. I wouldn't know bc most of the time we spent together was not together at all, and he was a bit of a dick. He will be sorely missed by friends and family...at least I hope, bless him, but they should know that he can be dickish too (and I refuse to make a dick joke here only because it's supposed to be a sad occasion) and his unnoticed friend-with-benefits Sol who has taken the time out of his day to write this truly heart-wrenching obituary. The End.

 **20:51**  
**Oh my god.**

**20:52  
Well, that was something.**

**20:53  
Putting "The End" at...well, the end doesn't seem to fit in, does it?**

20:55  
do not question art. 

 **20:55**  
**Who's the pretentious one now?**

20:56  
neeks nooo neeks

20:57  
I will never be pretentious n o no

 **20:59**  
**You say that but we've already gotten you, haven't we? Aren't you wearing a beret and hipster glasses right now whilst jotting down quotes in a spiral notebook? You can't lie to me, Sol.**

21:01  
Oh god that brings back horrid memories

21:03  
There was this kid that used to be in my Math class and he would literally only speak in quotes. He didn't wear the beret but his glasses were pretty hipster except they were green, and he dressed in stripes. Always. I was going to make that a Harry Potter quote but you probably don't know shit about that.

 **21:05**  
**I don't; you're right. I hope those quotes were actually good, though, and not just from some anime somewhere.**

21:06  
That's the thing, though.

21:06  
They were literally all from like classic literature, and none of us could understand him at all. Even "yes" or "no" he had to say like, "I must burden myself with assent" and "forgive me, good sir, but I must forsake your offer" when all I wanted was to borrow a stupid pencil. LIKE SHUT UP JEREMY ALL I WANTED WAS A PENCIL AND YOU'VE MADE MY HEART CRY WHEN ALL I WANTED WAS A PIECE OF CHARCOAL IN A CIRCULAR PIECE OF WOOD

 **21:07**  
**That's...priceless. Poor baby Sol. All he wanted was a pencil.**

**21:08  
He must've been bullied a lot?**

21:10  
Not even the slightest bit, tbfh with you. I'm still bitter about the pencil. MY WIFE WAS DYING, OKAY? MY SON WAS SICK AND ALL I WANTED WAS A PENCIL, JEREMY! COULDN'T YOU DO THAT FOR ME? 

 **21:11**  
**I sincerely grieve for your wife and son...for having you as a financial support provider. Besides that, public school sounds great. I've heard a lot of things about lockers and swirlies and bullying. Is all of that true?**

21:13  
Depends on who you're asking. Yeah well, not everyone gets such awesome parents that they can teach them at home like yours do. My parents are OK, but my dad's hardly ever around and my mother, well, she can nag.

 **21:14**  
**...my parents are gone. My mum died when I was really little. My dad left, somewhere. I have tutors that he hires from god knows where, instead.**

21:15  
Oh my god, I'm sorry

21:15  
That was a clueless thing to say

 **21:17**  
**Not your fault, is it?**

21:18  
still, that was tactless of me.

21:18  
You don't have any siblings? Family?

21:19  
You don't have to answer. I'm being intrusive again. Sorry.

 **21:19**  
**I had a sister, but she...died. Long story. Don't want to talk about it. I have a half-sister, on my dad's side, but even though we're closer than I am with most people, we don't get to see each other a lot.**

21:21  
Oh. I'm...sorry, man.

21:22  
I should probably go. Have a nice weekend, Neek Neeks.

21:23  
Again, I am so, so sorry. Sue me.

 

*

 

 **03:12**  
**You didn't do anything wrong, you know. You don't have to apologise.**

**03:13  
Whatever. It's at the crack of Satan's ass anyway. It's not like you'll be up. **

**03:15  
I'm...used to questions like that, okay? Don't beat yourself up for it. No one knows how to respond. That was a long time ago.**

**03:16  
You too, by the way. **

**03:18  
I mean...have a nice weekend.**

**  
**

*****

09:45  
_Nico, what the hell?_

**09:47  
What?**

09:49  
_Who's Sol?_

09:50  
What, what am I missing?

**09:52  
Nothing, Grace. You're supposed to be in class, aren't the lot of you? Pay attention!**

09:53  
_Jason, bro, he was texting someone at literally three in the morning, he doesn't do that. Ever. Like, I was sleeping, and he was on the floor, and he just rolled around, grabbed his phone and started typing like a maniac._

09:55  
Hold up, you had a sleepover without me? Rude.

**09:56  
It wasn't a sleepover; Percy got drunk last night after snogging his girlfriend for god knows how long; she evidently disliked having to drag him home with his sluggish movements and ditched him, and I was the only one left to take him home, the big idiot.**

**09:57  
How do you know anyway, Jackson?**

10:00  
_Dude, I was hungover, I heard you saying someone's name...like Sol, Sol, Sol or something. I think I passed out after that. Ugh. I'm still hungover._

10:02  
Coffee helps. 

**10:03  
And what do you know, Grace, you're never drunk. Good boy. Role model.**

**10:03  
Jackson's the idiot.**

10:05  
_Love you too, Neeks, and btw, I had coffee before I came to school but I still feel like shit._

10:06  
I have some coffee powder if you want...I could probably get some hot water at recess. We have double Geo period later together, right? You could have it then, and then later we could go over to Nico's and see who he's been flirting with at three in the morning. Besides, I'm curious. 

**10:07  
You are doing no such thing.**

10:09  
Bless him, he thinks he can stop us.

10:11  
_Adorable. That's settled, then._

10:12  
_Thanks a lot, Grace. You're a lifesaver._

**10:13  
Fuck both of you.**

**  
**

*****

**  
**

12:01  
I saw something today that reminded me of you.

 **12:0** **2**  
**Let me guess, a scene kid?**

12:04  
Nope, but nice guess. T'was a black cat. It kept hissing at everyone who came near it. I think it scratched a little girl and she cried.

 **12:05**  
**I loathe crying children.**

**12:07  
And I'm flattered, by the way. My friends like to point at every Hot Topic we come across and say "hey look it's Neek's home". As if I'd ever step into a Hot Topic. I buy my merchandise online, thanks.**

12:08  
Would you be willing to play a game with me?

 **12:10**  
**Depends. What sort of game?**

12:11  
All very harmless. Let's say we try to guess some things about each other and we have to say whether it's right or wrong. If it's wrong we don't have to answer why and what the actual answer is instead.

 **12:12**  
**Hmmph. Seeing as how I'd rather your company than that of the two idiots self-inviting themselves over later, alright.**

 **12:14**  
Okay. I guess I'll go first. You listen to Linkin Park?

 **12:15**  
**I do, but not excessively. Your favourite colour is orange?**

12:17  
Yellow, actually. You're tall and muscled?

 **12:17**  
**False.**

**12:19  
American?**

12:20  
Yep. Freckles?

 **12:21**  
**I've been told I'm waxy and pale like a vampire. No freckles.**

**12:22  
Popular?**

12:23  
Oh, wow, that's hilarious. Count Neek Neeks. 

12:24  
Not very popular, if you ask me. I have a few close friends. You seem to have many. 

 **12:25**  
**No. They don't...I don't know about them.**

12:27  
Virgin?

 **12:28**  
**Is this a sext?**

12:31  
Yes, because I'd completely sext a stranger. A stranger who's waxy, pale, probably a vampire, popular but doesn't admit it, probably a very sexy vampire librarian, home-schooled, and pretentious as all hell.

 **12:32**  
**Oh, fuck off. Yes. Happy?**

12:34  
Yes. You haven't asked your question.

 **12:34**  
**...um...I don't know. Ever kissed a dude?**

12:35  
Kiss, or make out? Those are two completely different things.

12:36  
I kissed a classmate once on a dare. He was completely shocked, and I got a picture. That was pretty funny. But I think I'm not looking to get into any male pants any soon.

 **12:37**  
**You realise the game has changed from the start?**

12:40  
Well, you did just ask me if I've ever porked a dude.

 **12:42**  
**You were the one who made it dirty.**

12:43  
Virginity is not dirty, you prude.

12:45  
OK, we'll stop if you're feeling uncomfortable. How're you spending your weekend?

 **12:46**  
**Reading. I got a volume of Edgar Allan Poe's works and am analysing them.**

12:48  
as in the Nevermore dude?

 **12:49**  
**...yes, as in the Nevermore dude. That's one of my favourites; "The Raven". Another one is "The Telltale Heart".**  

**12:51  
He writes about madmen a lot. Should that mean anything?**

12:52  
Shucks, no. I draw a lot of cars, does that make me a Porsche?

 **12:53**  
**Did you really just use the expression "shucks"?**

**12:55  
If anything, I think you're a really beaten down bicycle.**

12:57  
oh, neek neeks, you know how to flirt, alright.

12:58  
this bike's always up for riding, though. ;-)

 **13:01**  
**OH MY GOD NO DON'T MAKE IT DIRTY**

 **13:02**  
**THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT**

**13:03  
SOL**

13:04  
are you an ace, buddy? just asking.

 **13:05**  
As in asexual? No. I just...don't.

**13:07  
Are you? I mean, obviously you're not the most sexually repulsed person ever, but you don't have to hate sex to be an ace.**

13:08  
Bless you, no. 

13:08  
Bi, though

 **13:10**  
**Sorry?**

13:11  
But I* the message got cut off halfway. It was gonna say "but I won't find it weird if you are, though"

 **13:13**  
**...oh.**

13:13  
I gotta go, I'm in Chemistry and I can't afford to get another F. Talk to you later, Neeks. 

 **13:14**  
**See you, Sol.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing "Math" in place of "Maths" was a little wounding.
> 
> If any mistakes were made, please inform me - I usually don't proof-read my own work and especially when I'm writing late at night - but thank you for reading anyway! 
> 
> Leave a comment if you can get up to it; I'm still friendless as always and love to read them. Maybe some criticism? Should the chapters be longer? Shorter? Up faster? Tell me, thank *_*


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually grinning like an idiot because there's been so much positive feedback for this fic. Honestly, if you're still here with me reading this, I love you so so much. 
> 
> Again, my IG is @smol_asiansatan if you'd like to talk
> 
> Drop me a message on Tumblr [ here.](http://theswiftone27.tumblr.com)

14:51  
_Nico, we're outside._

14:53  
Open the goddamn door.

**14:55  
Don't even pretend you don't have your own keys. I distinctly remember you getting a pair made.**

14:57  
_niccoooo I'm hungover and sad and Jason is holding too much pleaaassseee_

**14:58  
...down in a bit.**

**14:58  
I hate both of you.**

15:00  
We brought cupcakes.

**15:02  
...down considerably faster.**

15:03  
_Piper's cupcakes._

**15:03  
And back to normal speed.**

 

*****

 

**15:31  
Can you bake?**

15:32  
...y...es. I think. I've only ever set fire to the kitchen once, anyway.

15:33  
It was a teensy one. The sprinklers were mocking me.

**15:35  
Those dratted sprinklers.**

**15:36  
I think everything mocks you on a daily basis, Sol. Tripped over a rock? Nope, it's mocking you. Banged your knee onto a table? Nope, it's mocking you too. Walked into a pole? Middle fingers to the pole. That bastard. **

15:37  
Shut up, it was a small fire. 

**15:38  
Why do I doubt that? **

**15:40  
Nevertheless, you can't be worse than Piper. **

**15:41  
How that girl hasn't killed us of food poisoning yet is beyond me. **

15:43  
Must have a very loyal boyfriend.

 **15:44  
** **She does. Also a lot of friends who can put up with it. Why am I friends with these idiots? Jackson is now very classily chucking a pillow at Grace.**

15:45  
Ha. How did you even meet these people?

**15:47  
Long story.**

15:48  
I bet it is. That's nice. 

**15:50  
What are you doing, then?**

15:51  
You mean besides texting my boyfriend? Uhm, art project for school. We're giving a talk on some famous artists, and I got Da Vinci.

**15:52  
I like Da Vinci. **

**15:53  
It's fiction, but you could get a lot of information about him from Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code". One of my favourite books. **

15:54  
Ha, thanks. I'll check it out.

15:56  
Is one of the reasons you like him that he's a flaming homosexual?

**16:01  
Not answering that. I'd have to hand back my classy card.**

**16:03  
I just noticed your first sentence. I'm not your boyfriend.**

16:04  
Yeah, chill.

16:04  
Don't worry, I won't tell the classy clique. 

16:06  
Are your friendsies still there?

**16:07  
What the fuck is a friendsie?**

16:09  
I love it when you swear, Neeks. Gets me all tingly like that.

**16:10  
...fuck. You. **

**16:11**  
They're still here.

16:13  
I'm going to tell Piper you think her baking is bad. 

**16:14  
She's not here, and besides, that would be a great way to gently break it to her. I don't want to choke on a cupcake again.**

16:16  
ohhh booyyyyyyyy

16:17  
It took every ounce of self control I had to not make a choking joke there

**16:19  
Could I choke on something else?**

16:20  
There it is. 

**16:22  
They're dragging me out for dinner, Sol. I'll see you.**

**16:23  
Please leave me a plethora of dick jokes so I can come back and groan at all of them.**

16:24  
Will do, but that's kind of hard.

16:26  
I mean, they're better here than saying them aloud, I guess. Would be a bit of a mouthful.

16:27  
It's getting really hard to swallow these down, you know.

16:28  
That's it, I'm spent. Ready for round two?

**17:46  
No. **

17:47  
This time I'll be gentle, I promise.

**17:49  
My sister saw my text notifications, you ass. She got all worried.**

17:51  
HAHAHA THAT'S PRICELESS

**17:53  
Fuck off, fun's over.**

17:54  
Fine, fine. 

 

*

 

20:01  
_Nico, are you sure you're alright? Those messages were...strange._

**20:02  
Oh my god Hazel I'm fine I told you it was a joke**

20:04  
_I wasn't exactly sure :/_

**20:05  
What is that. What is that emoticon.**

20:07  
_Leo taught me how to use them._ _I think they're cute. :)_

**20:08  
Of course he did. Of course.**

**20:09  
Anyway, don't worry. We were just joking around.**

20:12  
_Yes, but you promise that if anything strange happens, you'll tell me, alright? I am sufficiently educated on the dangers of the Internet. Frank only just taught me how to type with my eyes closed. It's still rather bad but I think I'm getting the hang of it :-)_

**20:13  
That's lovely, Hazel. I know how to take care of myself. It's okay.**

20:14  
_Who is that person, anyway?_

20:16  
_I don't know a person named Sol in the list of our friends._

**20:17  
Long story. We met online.**

20:19  
_You have a lot of long stories, Nico. Should I be worried about this person? If you met them online, then that's...I don't know. Dangerous? You haven't given out any personal details, have you?_

**20:20  
No, you don't have to be worried, Hazel. **

**20:21  
Of course I haven't. And don't fret, he's not trying to catfish me, we're just messing around.**

20:23  
_What is "catfish"?_

**20:24  
Never mind, Hazel. **

**20:25  
I'm going to bed now. I'm rather tired. Good night.**

20:27  
_Sweet dreams, Nico._

 

*

 

20:28  
_Frank, what is "catfish"?_

 

 

*

 

00:04  
Ayy Neek Neeks

**00:06  
nO**

00:07  
just wanted to talk buddy

**00:09  
not at twlve fkucing md ight we;re not**

**00:10  
fcuk of f**

00:11  
Insomnia strikes again for the brilliant Sol!

**00:13  
sol i swear to fucking god leave me alone**

00:14  
You swear a lot more when you're angry. I thought you didn't sleep.

**00:16  
Well, I'm awake now.**

00:17  
Oops. Sorry. Nevermind. I'll just go on an ASMR marathon.

**00:18  
Fuck**

**00:19  
yiu**

**00:20  
you* ugh I cann0t at tis hour**

00:21  
Poor baby. Have a nice sleep!

 

*

 

**06:12  
I'm about to murder you.**

**06:14  
SOL SOL SOL SOL**

**06:15  
DO YOU HAVE TEXT NOTIFICATIONS ON BABY**

**06:16  
I HOPE YOU'RE SLEEPING WELL**

06:17  
nEEKS n0o o

**06:19  
How do you like it, baby?**

06:21  
I'm so sos orry Neeks but it's a SUnday and I cannot

**06:22  
All the more reason I'm doing this.**

06:24  
you'r e evil, neeks. you're sathan reincarnate

**06:25  
Ah, yes. I've always wanted to meet Sathan.**

06:26  
I cvabn't pleas e I'll get back to u after I'veha d my coffee

**06:27  
I can't read that properly, baby. **

06:28  
ur never goina let me live that down, arehyo u

**06:30  
Nope. HAVE A NICE BREAKFAST AND COFFEE**

 

*****

 

08:02  
I hate you.

**08:03  
Aww. He knows how to flirt.**

08:05  
ugh I remember waking up with the text notifs drilling into my head like the beat of the fucking drums at a parade

**08:06  
Swears when he's flustered, too.**

08:08  
i said i was sorry okay

08:10  
Jeez, Neeks. I'd hate to get on your bad side.

**08:11  
Some kid called me an emu after he'd got his kite stuck in a tree and I'd crawled up it to get it because Hazel was giving me the look. I think he meant emo, and that wasn't better. I cut the kite's strings and it flew away.**

08:13  
SATAN.

**08:14  
No, just a disgruntled emu.**

**08:16  
Man was Hazel pissed, though. **

08:18  
Listen, boy, you don't just cut someone's kite strings and expect other people to be happy with you.

**08:19  
The child was crying. I was pleased. But then I think his mother started running forward to see what was wrong, and she started yelling her head off at me in Spanish or something.**

08:21  
"The child was crying" and "I was pleased" should be nowhere near each other ever, Neeks

08:22  
So what did you do?

**08:24  
I wanted to walk away. Hazel made me apologise to the kid. Brat.**

08:25  
Oh, boy.

**08:27  
Yeah. I was humiliated, and my jeans were ripped from climbing the tree so I looked even more emo.**

08:30  
I'm sure you looked sexy as ever, Neeks.

**08:31  
You're a pretty terrible flirt if your compliments amount to "SATAN" and me being sexy, you know.**

08:33  
Shut up. I'm romantic af. Let me woo you, Neek Neeks. I can write us a better love story than Twilight.

**08:34  
Anything's a better love story than Twilight.**

**08:35  
Go for it, Romeo.**

**08:37  
Write hot, smutty fanfiction about us.**

08:38  
I don't know what you look like, besides the way you dress that makes kids call you emo, and that you're waxy and pale. 

**08:40  
Um. Black hair. Curly. Short. ...well, short enough.**

**08:41  
Smol? Smol everything. Smol hands. Smol feet. Buy clothing in S or XS.**

08:43  
Awwh Neek Neeks, you sound precious.

**08:45  
Yeah well, don't make me regret this.**

08:46  
Rude.

08:48  
"There once was a incredibly sexy librarian named Neek Neeks who accidentally texted the wrong number with various vulgarities. Little did he know this endeared him to a blond teenager Sol, who was a very fine piece of ass."

 **08:49**  
**Narcissist.**

08:52  
Shh. "Sol found Neek Neeks to be a bit of a dick, but he was pretty funny at times. When he wasn't being a dick. They became friends, and Sol saved Neek Neeks' phone number as "hot boy who keeps texting back"."

**08:53  
Did you really?**

08:54  
No, it's actually saved as "Dick #2". 

**08:55  
I'm offended that I'm not number one, and curious that you have another person labelled Dick.**

08:56  
Oh, Neek Neeks. You're always number one to me.

08:58  
Dick is my father, because he's a dick and I love him. Dickess is Clarisse, a beefy piece of bull that can sucker-punch you into non-existence.

**09:00  
"Dickess".**

**09:02  
You're saved as "Asshole #3" for me.**

09:03  
I'm offended. At least "dick" is real enough.

**09:04  
"Dildo", then.**

09:06  
Fine. Back to the story.

09:07  
"And one day Sol and Neeks met up in real life and Neeks was really hot, with hair that folded like a cherub's wings over his forehead and waxy pale skin like a vampire. Sol was blown away with how hot he was. They married because it's legal now, suck that homophobes, raised thirty children and lived happily ever after."

**09:10  
...that's actually really...I don't know. Wow.**

**09:11  
You forgot to put "The End" there.**

09:12  
That's your only issue with it?

**09:14  
Maybe the children part. I loathe children.**

09:15  
Aww. We're so doing this, Neek Neeks.

**09:17  
What, marrying or meeting up?**

09:18  
Both. Not necessarily in that order.

09:19  
Fate hath brought us together, Neek Neeks.

**09:20  
*sighs* Alright. We're marrying after we meet up. No children, though.**

09:21  
Fine. A dog. A big dog.

**09:23  
better. **

**09:24  
I've got to go for breakfast. We'll arrange our marriage some other time.**

09:26  
Farewell, my betrothed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to all of you still reading. 
> 
> Comments are nice and I love them all ^^  
> -Ever Friendless Author


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd just like to say I read all of your comments and I love every single one of you. Right now I'm emotionally and physically exhausted - just come back from a school camp, smack in the middle of hols :))) - but hey! New chapter. My muse comes in strange times.
> 
> Find me on Instagram @smol_asiansatan or on Tumblr [ here.](http://theswiftone27.tumblr.com)

12:34  
This wedding is amazing.

**12:36  
You're being unfaithful to me, my betrothed? Oh, my love hath forsaken me!**

12:37  
It's not my wedding, love. It's my cousin's. 

12:38  
Thine lover shalt remain in faith to thee forevermore.

**12:40  
You have no idea what you're typing, do you.**

12:41  
Hush. I'm trying to be romantic.

**12:42  
Don't you have school today?**

12:44  
HA. Another good thing about Lee's wedding. I get off a whole day! Besides, the seniors' exams are finished for now, so it doesn't matter.

**12:45  
Why is it that nothing you say seems to convince me that you're an intellectual?**

12:47  
Listen, school isn't shit.

12:48  
Standardised tests and intelligence based on memory, which to me is fucking ridiculous. I was OK with Maths till alphabets started coming in, and then more standardised tests. My Geo class is the worst, tbfh. The teacher gives us a controversial question that has a thousand different answers, and expects us to remember her notes word for word in it.

**12:48  
Hmm.**

12:50  
Anyway, let's not talk about things that make me frazzled. Frazzled? Did I use that correctly?

**12:53  
I don't know. I've never been to a wedding. What sort is it?**

12:54  
Umm. Not sure. It's definitely not traditional. The bride's dress is so cool, man  
It's like the kind of galaxy background hipsters use, but it's sparkly and shit. A few moments ago they were playing a shot game with haikus. My family's nuts about poetry. Another one of my cousins just sat up abruptly and recited a haiku off the tip of his tongue.

**12:55  
The mere fact that you described a dress as a galaxy background hipsters use with sparkles and shit endears you to me. Grudgingly, on my account.**

12:56  
you know you love me, dear.

12:57  
It's so cool, though. All the other weddings I've ever been to are boring as hell.

**12:59  
Only you would call hell boring.**

13:01  
I have so many questions for Satan. I'd bore him, really.

**13:02  
Don't you mean Sathan?**

13:04  
I hate you, you know.

**13:05  
I certainly would hope so. I don't mentally note all my friends' slip-ups for later usage for them to ignore the snide remarks. **

**13:07  
Does that mean you're not going to marry me anymore? Shame, I'd already picked out a name for our dog.**

13:10  
You knew I was never truly in love with you, Neeks. I was in it for the dog.

13:11  
I was going to get a really huge dog and name it something like Tiny just to spite you because you'd hate that. 

**13:13  
You wound me. We were going to have a family, Sol. You would leave me for a mangy mutt?**

13:14  
Tiny is not mangy! It's things like this that are why I'm leaving you, you insensitive prick.

**13:16  
Anything having the misfortune of being named Tiny should be used to called worse things than "mangy".**

**13:19  
OH**

**13:20  
OH NO**

**13:21  
DONT**

13:23  
i bet you didn't think that through. Self-conscious, neeks?

**13:25  
brb changing the subject**

13:26  
Babe, size doesn't matter to me.

**13:28  
Fuck off, Sol.**

13:30  
OK, OK.

13:32  
I just wanted to ask what name you'd thought of.

**13:33  
Don't laugh.**

13:36  
here we go

 **13:37  
** **...**

**13:38  
Mrs O'Leary.**

13:40  
ohhh booyyyy

**13:41  
don't**

13:42  
I'm curious.

**13:44  
I had a friend once, like a mentor. He had a dog named that. I miss him...and I miss her.**

13:46  
One of your tutors?

 **13:50**  
**Nah. He was ten, twenty years older than me? He seemed almost ageless. We were friends, that was all. He gave me advice and...I don't know, just disappeared one day. I miss him a lot. He, ah...he was the first person I came out to.**  
**[Message Failed To Send. Try Again?]**

**13:51  
I miss old friends a lot.**

13:52  
I see. 

13:53  
OOP THEY'RE DRAGGOING ME FORWSRDS TO MAKE AN ANONCUMENT I THINK MY COUSIN IS DRUNK GODOBYE NEEKS 

**13:55  
Somehow I doubt they're the only ones who are drunk.**

 

*****

 

15:01  
_Let's play Guess Who. Nico, you in?_

15:03  
I certainly am.

**15:04  
What are you planning now?**

15:07  
_I am completely new to Nico's normal circle of friends, yet he seems to talk to me more than he does anyone else. I am most likely a stranger he found on the Internet that his friends are starting to get worried about because darling Neek Neeks must be protected at all costs._

**15:08**  
**Wow, fuck off.**  
**[Message Failed To Send. Try Again?]**

**15:09  
Fuck off.**

15:10  
Tut tut, no swearing. 

15:12  
Is this another one of Neek Neeks' many flings?

**15:13  
I DON'T HAVE FLINGS.**

15:15  
_I'm pretty sure there are a few things in your diary that say otherwise._

**15:17  
I don't write a**

**15:18**  
**FUCK**  
**[Message Failed To Send. Try Again?]**

**15:19  
FUCK MY CONNECTION AND I**

**15:21  
YOU READ MY LOG-BOOK**

~~~~ 15:23  
I agree, Nico's connection is really shitty these few days. I might go over to see what's wrong with the router.

15:24  
Is that the book where he wrote DON'T TOUCH PERSONAL a gajillion times on the cover

**15:26  
JACKSON**

15:30  
_I swear I only read till the guy flirted with you at the library and you dropped the scanner. Smooth, Neeks._

15:31  
DID HE REALLY OMFG HAHA

**15:33**  
**i will murDER BOTH OF YOU**  
**[Message Failed To Send. Try Again?]**

**[Calling Asshole #1]**

**"I'm going to slowly murder you."**

_"You sound rather calm for someone who's - owch, shit!"_

**"I hope you stubbed your toe or something worse because that's the only way I'll be satisfied enough not to murder you."**

_"I'm used to death threats from you at this point, Sunshine, and it's worse than that. Annabeth's kid brothers are around and they're leaving fucking Lego's - I'M SORRY I WON'T SWEAR AGAIN KIDS DON'T LISTEN - all over the f...diddly darn floor. My gosh diddly darn foot just had to step on one of these massive mother...kissing diddly darns and it hurts like...you know what, I'll just not speak. Annabeth's gonna kill me if she comes in_ _and one of these smart-asses...I mean kids, kids...say the "f" word to her face."_  
  
**"Where is Annabeth, by the way?"**

_"Out with some quality girl time with Piper, Reyna and Hazel. Pfft. They said I could come only if my hair was long enough to braid. I wanted to spite em by calling Jason, Frank and Leo over, but Grace's being pissy over his fail on the Geo test and Frank and Leo weren't too keen on braiding our hair."_

**"I would've thought Leo to be jumping at the chance."**

_"Apparently he's got a dinner with someone, which means Mystery Girl's a thing again."_

**"Could you make use of your time by...maybe not trying to puzzle yourself with your friends' love lives, please?"**

_"How did we jump from your own Mystery Boy to love lives?"_

**"...shut up."**

_"NICO."_

**"SHUT UP."**

_"OH MY GOD YOU DON'T- WHAT - KIDS GET OUT OF THE ROOM I'M PROBABLY GONNA SWEAR -"_

**[Call Ended]**

15:40  
_Spoilsport._

 **15:41**  
**:))))**  
**F**  
**U**  
**C**  
**K**  
  
**O**  
**F**  
**F**  
**((((:**

**  
***

**15:43  
Annabeth, I don't want to rat out on anyone but Jackson was swearing rather heavily in front of your brothers.**

**15:44  
Make do with this information as you must.**

*****

17:50  
_I really hate you sometimes, Sunshine._

 **17:51**  
HA  
ANNABETH

17:53  
You're a massive douchebag.

**17:55  
Don't mess with the gay friend, Seaweed Brain. He's closer with the girls than you lot are. Tell Annabeth we're going for mani-pedi time later this week, btfw.**

*****

20:33  
Oh, dear.

20:34  
The Internet is not some place you want to search for innocent fan art.

**20:36  
You must be relatively new here.**

20:37  
People are kinda sick. And strangely creative.

**20:40  
Today on "guess the fandom".**

20:41  
supernatural.

**20:44  
The one with two hot brothers going around killing demons?**

**20:45  
And the hot angel?**

20:46  
You think Cas is hot?

**20:48  
I may...have an opinion on that.**

**20:49  
What did you find? Hot sexy smut?**

20:51  
Neeks, what the fuck.

20:52  
...does it count if I wasn't intending on searching for it?

**20:53  
HA**

**20:55  
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL**

**20:56  
WHICH PAIRING**

20:58  
It's not actually of any pairing. Just really bad Photoshop of Sam and Dean's faces onto some muscular dudes' bodies. The contrast of their skin tones is alarmingly hilarious.

**20:59  
I personally am not into paranormal shows, but**

**21:02  
Hot guys.**

**21:03  
Guilty as well of Doctor Who.**

21:05  
I never could get into Doctor Who. It was sorta confusing.

**21:06  
I don't think we can be married anymore, Sol.**

21:09  
BABE NO

**21:10  
You were going to leave me for Mrs O'Leary anyway.**

21:11  
She's my muse, Neeks. 

21:13  
Don't make me choose between the pair of you.

**21:14  
o h . **

**21:15  
don't say that. **

**21:16  
i'm serious, don't say that ever again.**

21:17  
Did I say something wrong? Neeks?

**21:19  
I've got to go.**

21:20  
Wait

**21:22  
good night, Sol.**

 

*****

 

00:01  
Listen, that was kind of an asshole thing to do, you know.

00:02  
If I said something wrong, you should've told me.

00:02  
You're making me feel like I'm an ass.

00:04  
Neeks?

00:05  
whatever. i'm supposed to be sleeping, anyway. 

 

*

 

[DILDO SENT YOU A MESSAGE. VIEW?]

[DILDO SENT YOU A MESSAGE. VIEW?]

[DILDO SENT YOU A MESSAGE. VIEW?]

[DILDO SENT YOU A MESSAGE. VIEW?]

[YOU HAVE FOUR MESSAGE NOTIFICATIONS. VIEW?]

 

*

**03:45  
sue me, Sol.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Struggled through all that? Kudos to you! Do leave a comment if you feel up to it. I've got a boo boo and I've reverted to that state in pre-pubescence where flattery pumps you up. 
> 
> Love, Antisocial Author.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because everyone was so nice here is another chapter. I write my chapters in a bunch, ready and wrapped up to be edited on the day I want to publish them, in case anyone was wondering.
> 
> Your comments are all so lovely! Thank you, I don't think I can say thank you enough times before you all get bored of it. 
> 
> As previously stated, my Instagram @smol_asiansatan(drop me a DM if you're looking to chat or you want to drop an idea/prompt) and my Tumblr, also up for ideas and prompts or just plain ol' chatting, [ here.](http://theswiftone27.tumblr.com)

**08:12  
I was a bit of a dick, wasn't I?**

08:13  
a bit?

**08:15  
I don't want to rephrase that for fear of another size joke.**

08:17  
fine. forgiven.

08:18  
i get that i said something wrong, though,

08:19  
is it ok if i ask?

**08:21  
This is a really shitty excuse.**

**08:22  
And I'm still ever so sorry.**

**08:23  
I told you my family wasn't exactly perfect, right?**

08:24  
smth of the sort.

**08:27  
Well, frankly, it's not even together if a family at all. That isn't how I wanted to word it, but it fits better.**

08:28  
OK.

**08:31  
To say it's problematic is like saying a monster truck is slightly bigger than a bicycle.**

**08:32  
My dad, he's done some pretty terrible things.**

**08:34  
He's got a lot of blood on his hands and I don't think I want to know what's been on the cash he sends in these pristine white envelopes with just my name and address chalked onto them.**

08:35  
wait

08:36  
wait, neeks

08:36  
this isn't for me to hear.

**08:38  
Let me say it, OK, because literally no one will listen? **

**08:40  
It just...happens. He comes back home with his same oily smile and hair slicked back with gel and gold bands glittering on his wrists. Tailored Italian suits and a sweet scent like he's fucking doused in perfume clinging to him. **

**08:41  
I was very little when Bianca, she asked him to attend Parents' Teachers' Day at her school.**

**08:41  
I remember what happened.**

08:42  
Neeks.

**08:45  
He looked at her calmly and just spoke in Italian, which was what they conversed in when I was around because they thought I couldn't understand. I understood, alright. He was only here because our mother had wanted him to take care of us after she passed. He had no obligation to us and our tiny little schools or the tiny little house we lived in. If he could he'd be a million miles away, with a woman more competent and children that could take care of their own selves.**

08:46  
Oh, god.

**08:49  
I don't believe in him.**

**08:50  
My father was lying whenever he said he didn't love us or our mother. Maybe the first was true, but he'd loved our mother. Photographs of her were forbidden to be lying around, and were destroyed when found. Bianca coveted them like diamonds. **

**08:51  
He sent one of his men to school with Bianca. She came home crying with a note from him. There was a lot he said that made me wish I wasn't so little so I could break his fucking nose, but I remember something in particular.**

**08:52  
"Don't make me choose between the two of you." It was a threat. An empty one, but we didn't know at the time. I didn't know at the time. We didn't speak of it. That was how we dealt with most things from our father. He sent us living wages and a woman from downstairs would cook and clean for us, but besides that we didn't get to see him very often except when he rolled down to our little living space in his fucking Mercedes and how I trembled at the sight of it.**

08:53  
Your father's a dick.

**08:54  
He stopped coming around after Bianca died and I turned eighteen. It's better now.**

08:56  
no, really, I'd like to punch him in the face.

**08:59  
You don't know what you're saying.**

09:01  
Neeks. I'm at school right now, in Science class, and my teacher is droning about preparations for university life and shit and my deskmate is fishing with his head, it seems, the way it's bobbing. I'm not certain of any of this. I'm not certain of the university application form I handed in a few weeks ago; I'm not certain of everyone in my class because they seem like they've got their shit together and I don't.

09:02  
But I'm sure of you. I'm sure that whoever the hell you are and even if you are just some random stranger I'll never meet, I care about you. And I'd punch your asshole mafia boss father right in the fucking face.

**09:05  
...thanks, Sol.**

**09:06  
You should get back to class.**

 

*****

 

10:05  
LOU

10:06  
DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG

10:07

* * *

09:02  
But I'm sure of you. I'm sure that whoever the hell you are and even if you are just some random stranger I'll never meet, I care about you. And I'd punch your asshole mafia boss father right in the fucking face.

**09:05  
...thanks, Sol.**

**09:06  
You should get back to class.**

* * *

_**10:10** _  
_**Will, I'm in the middle of Science class. We're in the middle of Science class. What are you doing?** _

**_10:11_**  
HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS ABOUT A CUTE BOY WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE

10:12  
**_will this is not the time for your bisexual confusion_**

10:14  
PLEASE LOU DID I INSULT HIM OR SOMETHING

 _**10:15** _  
**_Is this the guy you keep texting_ **

**_10:16  
Why does he have a mafia boss for a father_ **

**_10:17  
Will you're just a fetus you can't punch a mafia boss_ **

10:19  
LOU!111!!!11!11!

**_10:20  
OK, OK._ **

**_10:21  
maybe he doesn't like being emasculated? idk, some boys don't like that. you cannot take a few messages out of context and show them to me, will_ **

10:22  
Don't think that's it.

**_10:23  
Then ask him? idk? Will, this class is important mmkay? Unlike you, I have places I want to be in ten years._ **

10:24  
You mean you didn't want to be chewing on your nails getting ready for a date while cats trail around you?

_**10:26  
Will, you are my best friend and I love you but you are a great big bag of dicks.** _

10:27  
I love you for that, Lou.

**_10:29  
bye, will._**

 

**_*_ **

 

**12:31  
MAMA, JUST KILLED A MAN**

12:32  
PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD PULLED THE TRIGGER NOW HE'S DEAD

**12:34  
MAMA, LIFE HAD JUST BEGUN**

12:37  
BUT NOW I'VE GONE AND THROWN IT ALL AWAY

12:38  
Neek Neeks, marry me.

12:40  
We can run away together and be Supernatural fanatics and dog lovers and sing Queen together.

**12:41  
I'm usually opposed to marrying someone I've never met.**

12:43  
But I'm an exception? ;)

**12:45  
Not the winky face please **

12:46  
;))))

**12:47  
-.-//**

12:49  
what inspired the Queen?

**12:50  
It came on on the radio station and I just started singing my head off. My sister looked at me like I was crazy.**

12:51  
Babe, everyone sings Bohemian Rhapsody when it comes on.

12:52  
It's just that good.

**12:54  
Hazel - that's my sister - she wanted me to check if we have the same interests other than Supernatural. Which she doesn't watch, because she says it's devilry. I got the anti possession tattoo on my shoulder just to see her look. Priceless.**

12:55  
YOU HAVE TATTOOS

12:56  
MARRY ME

**12:58  
One tattoo.  **

13:02  
Please just marry me so you'll spare me the effort of screaming marry me every time you say something hot.

**13:03  
I want to marry you just so you'll know the anti-thesis of hot, tbfh.**

**13:04  
Nothing on me is hot, Sol.**

13:06  
Maybe you should have nothing on then ;)))

**13:08  
SOL BEHAVE**

**13:09  
My sister is getting over-protective. I tell her we have a good obedience thing going on. I yell heel, you roll over.**

13:10  
Grr. I can be a good doggie.

13:12  
Fine. Um, books? I know you like emo poetry, so that's something. Dan Brown, too, for you? I picked up the Da Vinci Code. It's amazing.

**13:13  
See? Hazel likes Dan Brown. Please make your answers as intellectual as possible.**

13:16  
This is a fact thing, isn't it? As in, describe me to your parent slash sister? Um, blond, tanned, really cliche blue eyes.

**13:17  
I don't think that's what she meant.**

**13:19  
Personality wise. What do you think you are?**

13:20  
Flashy. I mean, not in-your-face, but I, uh...I attract a lot of attention.

**13:21  
You're not making this any better.**

[Message from L<3u Allen. View?]

* * *

 

 **_13:23  
_ ** **_Are you blushing?_ **

13:24  
Shut up. No.

* * *

13:25  
Uh, sorry. I don't really know what to say. My friends say I fuss a lot. Like a mum. 

13:26  
I take first aid lessons. I volunteer at shelters.

13:26  
I'm bisexual.

**13:28  
where did that come from? **

13:29  
Nowhere. idek. 

**13:30  
You're a fetus, Sol. You're the one that's adorable.**

13:32  
Shut up and take your meds, Neeks.

**13:33  
You're like my very cussy mother. I like it.**

13:35  
Is that some new kink?

**13:37  
YOU ARE LUCKY HAZEL DOESN'T KNOW WHAT KINK IS OR I SWEAR TO GOD HER MENTAL IMAGE OF YOU IS RUINED FOREVER YOU IDIOT**

13:38  
Aww.

13:39  
You're adorable.

**13:41  
I am Death. fear me.**

13:42  
make me.

**13:43  
Somewhere in there is an innuendo slash reference I don't want to dig up, so I'm putting an end to this conversation.**

**13:45  
Goodbye, Mr Bisexual Sol.**

13:46  
Farewell, Mr Homosexual Neeks.

 

*

 

14:00  
I may have made the worst or best mistake of my life, Lou, and I won't let English Lit get in the midst of your reprimanding me about it.

_**14:03  
What did you do, Will** _

14:04  
I might've...come out.

14:05  
To that guy I was freaking over.

_**14:07  
I cannot leave you alone for a minute can I** _

_**14:08  
Fine but if Mr Quintus notices I swear Will** _

14:10  
It's OK. I know Mr Q.

**_14:11  
You are very difficult. Do you fancy this guy or what?_ **

14:13  
Idk

14:14  
help

_**14:15  
If you like him you should say something. Is he straight?** _

14:16  
no, he's gay. I think.

14:17  
But I don't know him! Won't that be weird? "hey, stranger, I just realised that after all those times I asked you to marry me that I want to actually marry you"

_**14:19  
Will, he won't push you away if you do say something like that, which you should not, that goes without saying. But it's worth a shot, hinting at it. ** _

14:21  
Lou...I can't.

_**14:22  
Why not?** _

14:23  
I don't know!

14:25  
The kid's got enough to shoulder. His dad and his schooling, and the friends he tells me about.

_**14:26  
Oh my god, Will.** _

14:27  
See? I can't just barge into there and ask him to date me!

**_14:28  
You are so stupid sometimes. Just ask if you can meet someday. If he reacts strongly to it, then maybe he doesn't like like you, or finds you creepy or weird. _ **

14:30  
This is why I love you, Lou.

**_14:31  
Yeah, yeah. _ **

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt bad leaving Nico as the douche on the last chapter. In every relationship there should be equal shares of being the douche. Or at least that's what my best friend tells me when he sternly reminds me that I've been binge-watching Doctor Who for too long. And what I tell myself when I pull my Attack On Titan cloak off of his shoulders. 
> 
> At this point it's all really still fluff and crack. I don't want this to spiral into anything too heavy and serious either, it's going to be borderline fluff most of the time so I won't accidentally trigger my pheels (eyy phandom where you at) but I do want to get the plot going so if there's any prompts you want me to try out for here, do be a dear and send them along before the plot starts advancing.
> 
> That's all I really want to say. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	7. holyshityouguysactuallywanttoseemoreeventhoughmywritingiscrap...yey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will had a fish named Jordan once.  
> Will is the Mum friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title says it all. Holy frickety frick frack jiminy Jeremiah, people actually read this?
> 
> It's come to my attention that Will may be a little OOC. I sure hope it isn't too bad; I've read the Blood Of Olympus ten times over just to gage his latest personality changes already. I'll see what I can do about that. But constructive criticism is lovely; it gives me a new perspective on lots of things. Thank you for that, okayDamMundies! *hugs from dad* 
> 
> As always, drop me a message on Instagram @smol_asiansatan or come visit my Tumblr [ here.](http://theswiftone27.tumblr.com)

13:12  
_Are you Sol?_

13:13  
Um, yeah

13:15  
Sorry, who is this?

13:17  
_I'm Hazel. Nico's sister._

13:18  
Nico...

13:19  
Oh.

13:20  
He's spoken highly of you.

13:21  
_I'm very lucky to have him as a brother._

13:22  
Listen, uh...whatever you might've read, we were just fooling around.

13:24  
_I sort of figured._

13:25  
Ha. OK.

13:27  
_I'm just...worried about him. He takes care of me, and I want to be able to do the same._

13:28  
I get it. Uh, my father's sort of like that for me.

13:29  
He's very wild and unpredictable, lives life the fun way. Sometimes he gets annoying, especially when he starts waxing philosophical about some celestial body, but I wouldn't trade him in for the world.

13:30  
_I like you, Sol._

13:32  
_Has Nico ever...brought up our dad?_

13:33  
Um, yes.

13:34  
I'm sorry, it's probably not my place to know things like that.

13:36  
_No, I'm just surprised...he never talks about our father._

13:37  
Hazel, right? Is...is Nico OK? I mean, does he...do stuff that might harm him?

13:39  
_Oh. Oh, not like that, no._

13:40  
_There was one point..._

13:41  
_He's not like that anymore. He's got friends that love him. Even if he tries to act like he'd be better off without us._

13:44  
...oh.

13:45  
_Would you do something for me, perhaps, Sol?_

13:47  
Sure.

13:48  
_Keep talking to Nico, OK? He's been a lot happier since you've started talking. I don't know why, but he smiles a lot more. He nearly laughed out loud when Percy tripped over himself and splashed paint water over his girlfriend and her pal the other day._

13:50  
There's my Neeks. Sadistic as all hell.

13:51  
Would you do something for me, then?

13:53  
_Of course._

13:54  
Take care of him.

13:55  
Because I'm happier talking to him, too.

13:56  
And if your dad comes home again?

13:58  
_yes?_

14:01  
Knee him in the groin for me.

 

*

 

17:24  
So, uh.

17:25  
Nico.

**17:27  
Hazel, wasn't it?**

17:29  
I'm impressed.

**17:30  
She kept asking for your number. I hope she didn't say anything too weird.**

17:31  
I told her she had a cool brother.

**17:32  
...really?**

17:33  
Nope. I told her you were a bit of a dick at times.

17:34  
Aww, did I get your hopes up?

**17:35  
Shut up.**

**17:36  
So you know my real name. How long till I can guess yours?**

17:37  
You won't get it from Sol, for sure.

**17:39  
Hmm.**

17:40  
What would you name me? C'mon.

**17:41  
Uh. Aaron? Anthony. Andrew. **

17:43  
not an A.

**17:46  
Well, all I can do is take shots in the dark. Did your parents try to be creative and name you something stupid or is it a standard name?**

17:47  
Pretty standard. I think.

17:48  
Nico's a cute name, though. Nico and Hazel. Awwh.

**17:51  
Hush.**

**17:53  
Timothy? Bill. Michelle, Gavin, Sean?**

**17:55  
Oliver, Dwayne. Joshua.**

17:56  
Nope, nope, nope, would be cool, nope, nope, nope, had a goldfish named Joshua once.

**17:57  
You named your goldfish Joshua?**

17:59  
After Joshua Jackson. Fringe was my life.

**18:02  
You got into Fringe but not Doctor Who. Congratulations, Erik. Eric. Enrique. Enrico?**

18:03  
Yep, and no, no, no, and where in everloving hell did you get that? Sounds cool, though.

**18:07  
Jeremy. Joseph. John. Kyle, Kevin, Kent, Ken, Kai, Kirin. Vincent, Vlinder. Zachary, Xavier, Zachariah, Charles, Adam, Samuel, Carl?**

18:08  
No to all, but damn. 

18:09  
Do you carry a book of baby names around with you?

**18:10  
No, but I read a lot.**

**18:12  
Cassius. Stephen. Steven. Sal. Corey. Luke. Please just tell me already.**

18:13  
My dear Nico. I can't believe you got "Cassius" but didn't get my name.

**18:14  
Damn it.**

**18:17  
Levi. Alex. Mervin. Mervyn. Melvin. Ian, Evan, Ryan, Russell, Randy.**

18:19  
Stop guessing. It's Will.

**18:20  
How does one get "Sol" out of Will?**

18:21  
It's from my surname. 

18:22  
I feel infinitely more intimate with you now.

**18:23  
I cannot change your contact number to Will. It's too bizarre after waking up to late night texts by "Insomniac Dildo".**

18:25  
Keep it, Neeks. I might think of a more creative nickname for you. 

**18:26  
I do not look forward to seeing what that is.**

18:27  
Haha.

18:29  
Catch you later, Sunshine. I gotta go.

 

*

 

18:31  
HIS NAME IS NICO

**_18:33  
Are we talking about Cute Boy That Makes Will Go Full Homo or_ **

18:34  
Cute Boy Who Makes Will Go Full Bi

18:35  
And yes.

**_18:36  
Oh, boy._ **

**_18:37  
Nico, huh? That's a pretty cool name._ **

18:38  
I don't know what to say anymore.

**_18:39  
You're being dramatic? Will, you're rarely ever this dramatic._ **

18:41  
Excuse you, I was born for the screen.

18:42  
Also he saved my contact as "Insomniac Dildo" and I don't know what to say to that either.

_**18:43  
I really don't want to know what you guys talk about.** _

_**18:44  
Well, yours for me is saved as "Mum" so I can't criticise either.** _

18:45  
Mum? I'm outraged.

_**18:50  
"Lou have you eaten yet" "You literally just recovered you can't go out again"  "oh my god your kitchen is a mess i'll just clear this out for you"** _

18:51  
OK, I'm a mum.

_**18:52  
Yeah, you are.** _

_**18:53  
I just realised that when you say "HIS NAME IS NICO" that implies that you didn't know his name before. ** _

_**18:54  
Were both of you, complete strangers, talking to each other with no titles? ** _

18:55  
...for the majority of the first year I spent with you you were "awkward shy girl who's always blushing".

_**18:56  
Bless you, you were "Blond from the school medic team"** _

18:58  
I'm honoured that you took my choice of society into account.

19:01  
There's Dad calling for dinner. Talk to you later, Lou.

_**19:02  
Bye, you big baby.** _

 

_***** _

 

20:01  
I thought of a nickname at last!

**20:03  
Here we go.**

20:04  
Platonic friend lover pal sunshine emo bean.

20:05  
PFLPSEB for short.

**20:06  
"For short".**

**20:07  
Also, I don't think "sunshine" and "emo" should be there together.**

20:08  
But you are my sunshine, Nico. My emo sunshine.

**20:09  
As long as I can keep "insomniac dildo".**

20:11  
Of course you can. 

**20:13  
As much as I'd like to talk to you, Will, I have to regrettably stop right here because Jackson and Grace are over and adamant on having a "boys night out".**

20:14  
I'd like to meet these two.

20:15  
I'd give them a severe lecture on how Neek Neeks is a precious bean that cannot be exposed to hormonal teenagers.

**20:16  
It's scary how I actually believe you'd do it.**

**20:17  
Argh. They're ransacking my DVDs for horror movies. Please help me.**

20:18  
You'd be the type to like horror movies.

**20:19  
I get scared when doors creak, and you think I'd like horror movies?**

20:20  
you're precious, neeks.

**20:21  
I have to go, Sol.**

20:22  
Bye, Nico. Have fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: Cassius is the name of one of my main characters in a novel I'm writing, and he's gay! (same)
> 
> I sincerely hope you enjoyed this chapter! Leave a comment if you're up to it, I always love reading what you all have to say, even if it's just a simple acknowledgement of the chapter. I need more friends anyway, and human interaction - even if it's only through a few words on the screen - is always appreciated!
> 
> Love,  
> Part-Time Author, Full-Time Internet Homo/Dad


	8. AYYY IT'S YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE AUTHOR WITH A NEW CHAPTER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends; I have just returned from an exhausting two-day competition called the WORLD SCHOLAR'S CUP...it's gr8 and I recommend it 10/10 for those interested in debate, creative writing and general knowledge challenges.
> 
> Why is this relevant? Because I figured I needed an excuse for not updating in so o o long. I have been crying over my research papers, and generally making a mess of myself and my life -- ha, as if that's not already been done. But ayy, I'm back, and the global rounds in Thailand don't start till June. Thank Scythe and alpacas for that.  
> Besides that, drill practice - which everyone who's ever been to a school in Asia knows - is even more exhausting, and I have to juggle that as well as basic student duties as well. Whew.
> 
> But I won't bore you with my life story, so here's the new chapter! I sincerely hope it isn't too late an update. It's slightly short, as I'm currently on a time limit as always; Time is a bitch, but enjoy. As always, find me on Instagram @smol_asiansatan or on Tumblr [ here.](http://theswiftone27.tumblr.com)

08:03  
I might shrivel up of unhappiness at this point.

**08:04  
Hmm. School again?**

08:05  
As always. They've got a sort of counselling team to come in and give talks to the seniors. It's nice that they give a shit, but also mildly intimidating. I'm not about to "share" my life goals with a room of people whose life goals are prolly to settle down with a family and three dogs, thank.

**08:07  
Isn't that what you suggested for us?**

08:08  
We're different, Neeks.

**08:10  
As you wish.**

**08:11  
I'm...gardening.**

08:12  
oh my god wife

08:13  
screw it, i'm filling these blanks in

08:14  
'i would like to marry and live with "Dick #2 slash PFLPSEB", have "a huge dog" and "GARDENS FOR MY WIFE"

**08:15  
I'm a pretty rubbish gardener, I'm killing these tomatoes.**

08:17  
"...And a gardener to help when my wife is killing our houseplants. Maybe two; one to just sadly look at the plants he's killed so far and shake his head."

**08:18  
"He was so young...so young." I hope you're actually writing these down.**

08:20  
I wish. My school is pretty religion based, and you can take a guess at what happened when they heard me talking about sexuality with Lou.

**08:21  
I fucking hate things like that.**

**08:23  
Like, I'm OK if you believe in a rock for all I care.**

**08:24  
Just don't throw it at me.**

08:26  
Anyone ever tell you that you're precious, Nico?

**08:27  
...not answering that.**

08:28  
So someone has. Ha. I love that.

08:29  
crap. the principal's coming over; i hate mr d. 

08:30  
talk to you later, neeks. 

**08:31  
Love you too, Will.**

 

*****

_**08:33  
What the frick happened?** _

08:34  
WHAT

_**08:35  
yOU scREAMED lIKE thIS** _

08:36  
i nEVER tALK liKE tHIS

_**08:37  
seriously** _

08:38  
nothing happened.

08:39  
seriously.

_**08:40  
Now the Neanderthals from your class are asking me what's wrong with my "boyfriend'.** _

_**08:41  
I've been your beard for too long, Will** _

 

* * *

 

08:30  
talk to you later, neeks.

**08:31  
Love you too, Will.**

* * *

 

_**08:43  
o H** _

08:45  
SHH

_**08:46  
WILL** _

08:47  
DON'T SAY A WORD

_**08:49  
AS SOON AS THIS BLONDE GIRL IS DONE "SHARING" I'M COMING OVER'** _

08:51  
no please dont craig's story is getting interesting

08:52  
actually he's talking about when he first hit puberty get your ass over here

08:53  
LOU I KNOW YOU STOPPED I CAN SEE YOU

08:54  
DON'T MAKE ME SUFFER HAVING TO HEAR ABOUT HIS "HAIRS IN UNCONVENTIONAL PLACES" ALONE

08:55  
LOU U U U U U U

 

*

 

**12:31  
I should've told you earlier but I'm going overseas for a while.**

**12:32  
Half a month.**

**12:33  
It's for a competition.**

12:35  
Is this going to affect our talks?

 **12:36  
** **Yeah, maybe.**

**12:38  
I...found a way to counter that, though.**

12:39  
really?

**12:40  
Skype. I'm creating an account.**

12:41  
neek neeks, you do care.

12:43  
I'm touched.

**12:44  
well...**

**12:46  
I'd miss talking to you.**

**12:47  
As stupid as your texts are, you've kind of grown on me.**

12:48  
Aww. 

**12:49  
Hush.**

12:50  
You're precious.

**12:52  
I could strangle you.**

12:53  
if you could fit your tiny hands around my neck, that is.

**12:54  
If I ever meet you, we'll find out.**

12:56  
When we meet.

**12:57  
You're quite certain that we'll meet.**

13:01  
Of course.

13:02  
I'd be lost without my text-pal.

**13:03  
If that's a Sherlock reference, brilliant, Watson.**

13:05  
You're Sherlock, then? You fit the role; he's a bit of a dick.

**13:06  
Everyone's a bit of a dick.**

13:08  
Speaking of dicks, there's this really homophobic asshole in my class. Transfer student.

**13:09  
kill him.**

13:10  
This brings back memories of our first few texts.

**13:11  
I remember you, Mr Murder Tips.**

**13:13  
Oh, the joy of not having a new text notification every other midnight.**

13:14  
I haven't done that in a while.

13:15  
HA. I will when you go overseas. You'll come back to a swamp of messages.

**13:17  
Ever the romantic.**

13:18  
Hey, Nico.

13:20  
Uh. this may sound weird.

**13:21  
I don't think our conversations can get any weirder tbfh.**

**13:22  
spring me.**

13:24  
I think we should

13:24  
really meet up someday

13:25  
not if you don't want to 

13:26  
just

13:26  
I really want to see you for myself.

**13:28  
I think so...too.**

**13:29  
But not for a while yet.**

13:31  
I get it. You are busy and everything.

**13:32  
That's not a good enough excuse to give you.**

**13:35  
I'm scared that when you meet me, you'll be disappointed.**

13:36  
Secretly a girl ogre named Raspberry?

**13:37  
What the fuck?**

13:39  
Tsk, tsk. Foul mouth.

13:40  
Let's just say I spend way too much time on the weird side of the Internet.

**13:41  
Well, I don't exactly have green skin, so no.**

13:42  
You know, you are waxing a lot more philosophical nowadays.

**13:45  
Yeah...**

**13:46  
I'm packing now, actually.**

13:47  
Let's play guess what Nico brings for a stay overseas.

**13:49  
Go ahead. I'm pretty bored and Hazel has gone over the list at least ten times already.**

**13:50  
I think she's paranoid that she might've counted the total amount of water drops my bottle can fit wrong.**

13:51  
That would be a calamity, Nico.

13:52  
Hydration is no joke.

**13:54  
Ha-ha. Stop. **

13:56  
I mean, besides daily toiletries. I bet you have a stuffed toy.

**13:57  
Well...**

13:58  
YOU HAVE A STUFFED TOY

13:59  
Did you name it "Mr Cuddles" and tuck it into bed every night?

**14:00  
No, shut up.**

**14:01  
It's an alpaca; I got it from a competition. **

**14:02  
's name is Jerry.**

14:04  
Jerry sounds adorable.

**14:05  
He's a very light shade of lilac.**

14:06  
You sound like you go for competitions a lot.

**14:07  
Home school is boring, Will.**

**14:08  
I hate to break it to you, but...*whispers* I don't have friends.**

14:10  
I hate to break it to you, but...*aggressively shouts* PERCY JASON PIPER 

14:11  
also me

**14:12  
I love how you put yourself last. So humble.**

**14:15  
I guess. They're not at school with me, though. Percy's been to five schools in the course of one year. He's found one that he's OK with, but they're not home schooled, either.**

14:16  
I'm always humble.

**14:17  
You just proved otherwise, Will.**

14:18  
hmm. maybe.

**14:19  
Can I ask you a stupid question?**

14:20  
as long as i can give a stupid answer.

**14:21  
** **No, I want you to answer seriously.**

14:23  
so you want me to answer seriously to a stupid question.

**14:24  
Pretty much, yes.**

14:25  
You're a pretty high maintenance wife, Neeks.

**14:26  
You love me.**

14:28  
I'm only in it for the cuddles and the dead houseplants.

**14:29  
You wound me. Besides, I never ever ever ever cuddle. Ever.**

**14:30  
Hey, back to the question.**

14:31  
Go ahead, babe.

**14:32  
pLeaSE don't call me that.**

14:33  
Fresh ray of sunshine?

**14:34  
more like lord gloom and doom.**

14:35  
That sounds adorable. Spring me, smol bean. Angel face. Dork potato.

**14:36  
Oh my god, Will.**

**14:37  
What's your biggest fear?**

14:38  
Angry swarms of Neek Neeks. They're adorable but can be deadly in a herd.

**14:39  
Seriously.**

14:41  
Fine, fine.

14:42  
I don't really have any fears. Just like, paranoia. About my future and things like that.

**14:43  
What do you want to do?**

14:44  
Damn, I really don't know. 

14:45  
I want to be a doctor at a private clinic, but I also want to live a little before settling down with a stable job.

**14:46  
What, getting high and playing truant?**

14:47  
Nah, my dad would prolly join me halfway through.

**14:48  
Your family sounds great.**

14:49  
I love those idiots.

14:50  
Hey, platonic friend lover pal, since you asked a serious question, can I?

**14:51  
I don't know if you and "serious" should be used in the same sentence tbfh.**

14:52  
I mean, this has been on my mind a while.

**14:53  
Umm. OK.**

14:55  
It's...been bothering me, OK? I just want to get it off my chest.

**[PFLPSEB is typing...]**

**[PFLPSEB is active, 14:58]**

14:56  
It's also kind of a stupid question, to be honest.

14:57  
But...I mean. I thought I would give it a shot anyway.

14:58  
Here goes nothing.

14:59  
Fuck, I can't do it.

**15:03  
Are you alright?**

15:04  
Yeah, I mean...

15:05  
OK. My question is this:

15:06  
Please don't laugh or stop talking to me, but

15:07  
Do you know the muffin man?

**15:11  
FUCK YOU**

*****

 

_15:12  
What happened, Sol?_

15:13  
WHAT DID YOUR BROTHER DO

_15:14  
he...went silent for a bit, then smashed something into his keyboard, threw his phone across the room and stormed out._

_15:15  
The scariest thing was...he was laughing._

_15:16  
crying a bit, too, but also laughing._

15:18  
Precious smol bean is precious.

_15:19  
I'm concerned?_

15:20  
Don't be, I reacted that way as well.

15:21  
Ask him to call me when he gets back.

_15:22  
hmm. I will._

_15:23  
Bye, Sol._

15:24  
Bye, Hazel.

 

*****

 

**"Hello?"**

"Hello?"

**"Is this...Will?"**

"Yeah, who is this, please?"

**"I'm insulted, Mr Murder Tips."**

"What...Nico?

**"I think so. My line is quite terrible at the moment."**

"YOU SOUND LIKE A FETUS."

**"Oh my god, shut up. I don't."**

"You do. My god. You're even more adorable now that I know what you sound like. It makes writing fanfiction about us so much easier."

**"Oh, god. Well, I'm glad I helped."**

"So, uh..."

**"So..."**

"Why did you call, exactly?"

**"Hazel said you asked me to."**

"Shit, sorry, misworded. Don't hang up, though."

**"Why?"**

"Because I like the sound of your voice."

**"..."**

"No, I actually am really bored right now; don't flatter yourself."

**"Fuck. You."**

_"Nico!"_

"Ha, is that Hazel?"

**"Oh god, shh, I've got to run somewhere. She's like a prim old woman from the 90s how sensitive she is about swear words."**

"Aww. Your sister is adorable. I guess it runs in the family."

**"Casual flirting is how you show affection?"**

"I'm a little gay with all of my friends, Nico."

**"How many guy friends do you have again?"**

"One excluding you, but he's taking an internship."

**"I pity him for all the dick jokes he must have to endure."**

"I agree, they're pretty hard to swallow."

**"Oh my GOD, Will."**

"Yes, babe."

**"I cannot. Why do I have to put a voice to your messages now?"**

"You can't see me but you'd better believe I'm making a winky face."

**"Oh, dare I not. I dread the day when I can put your face to your messages too, now."**

"I assure you you'll not be disappointed."

**"Hazel found me. She's yelling about the stuff I haven't packed -"**

_ "I'm not yelling -" _

**"Pretty sure that's yelling."**

"I think you should go before your sister kills you, smol bean."

**"Fine. Bye, Will."**

"Bye, Nico."

[Call Disconnected]

"I think I love you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope hope hope you enjoyed reading, my dork potatoes. Emo Satan Dad signing off for now; he has to sleep and cry. A lot.  
> EDIT: WHY IS EVERYONE SO NICE TO ME????


	9. NEW CHAPTER11!!1!1!11

Oooh  
  
We're no strangers to love  
You know the rules and so do I  
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of  
You wouldn't get this from any other guy  
  
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling  
Gotta make you understand  
  
Never gonna give you up  
Never gonna let you down  
Never gonna run around and desert you  
Never gonna make you cry  
Never gonna say goodbye  
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you  
  
We've known each other for so long  
Your heart's been aching, but  
You're too shy to say it  
Inside, we both know what's been going on  
We know the game and we're gonna play it  
  
And if you ask me how I'm feeling  
Don't tell me you're too blind to see  
  
Never gonna give you up  
Never gonna let you down  
Never gonna run around and desert you  
Never gonna make you cry  
Never gonna say goodbye  
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you  
  
Never gonna give you up  
Never gonna let you down  
Never gonna run around and desert you  
Never gonna make you cry  
Never gonna say goodbye  
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you  
  
(Ooh, give you up)  
(Ooh, give you up)  
Never gonna give, never gonna give  
(Give you up)  
Never gonna give, never gonna give  
(Give you up)  
  
We've known each other for so long  
Your heart's been aching, but  
You're too shy to say it  
Inside, we both know what's been going on  
We know the game and we're gonna play it  
  
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling  
Gotta make you understand  
  
Never gonna give you up  
Never gonna let you down  
Never gonna run around and desert you  
Never gonna make you cry  
Never gonna say goodbye  
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you  
  
Never gonna give you up  
Never gonna let you down  
Never gonna run around and desert you  
Never gonna make you cry  
Never gonna say goodbye  
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you  
  
Never gonna give you up  
Never gonna let you down  
Never gonna run around and desert you  
Never gonna make you cry  
Never gonna say goodbye  
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be posted on the first of April; I was lazy. Oh, well.  
> PROTIP - I'm actually very unoriginal. The new chapter will be up soon, I promise. 
> 
>  
> 
> //casually mentions that you can find me on Tumblr [ here.](http://theswiftone27.tumblr.com)


	10. I'm Serious This Time, But Not Going To Apologise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could say I was sorry.
> 
> Hey, look on the bright side - I updated! Even if it's a small update, just Will pining because I don't have any plot bunnies; I'm looking for a way to summarise bloody Robinson Crusoe and all just isn't adhering together. Sorry, I'm a horrid author. I'll make up for it (and the last chapter) as soon as possible.
> 
> My Instagram has been changed to @smol_asiansatan if you'd like to find me, and Tumblr [ here.](http://theswiftone27.tumblr.com)

**04:05  
You awake?**

04:06  
What are you doing up at the crack of Satan's ass, Nico?

04:07  
You should s l e e p. I don't even get to.

**04:08  
Waiting to board a plane.**

**04:09  
Airport WiFi's pretty shit.**

04:11  
oh. 

**04:12  
There's, ah, there's someone reading these messages as I type.**

04:13  
What?

04:14  
Tell him to fuck off. I'll smash his face in.

**04:15  
I think I love you, Will.**

04:16  
What happened?

**04:17  
He just very abruptly turned away.**

04:19  
Was it a stranger

**04:20  
Y...es and no.**

**04:21  
Distant, very distant cousin. He came to send me off.**

04:22  
I just told your cousin to fuck off.

**04:23  
Again, I think I love you.**

04:25  
Same.

**04:26  
What?**

04:27  
What time's your flight?

**04:28  
In some fifty minutes, I think.**

**04:29  
I desperately need sleep. And coffee.**

04:31  
I'd get coffee if I was there.

**04:32  
I also have the overbearing urge to cry and curl up into a little ball.**

04:33  
You're such a ball of sunshine, Nico.

**04:34  
ugh**

**04:35  
Walking to the nearest Starbucks as we speak.**

04:36  
Starbucks, you hipster.

**04:37  
It's the nearest one!**

04:38  
uh huh.

**[Calling Insomniac Dildo]**

 

**"I'm very strongly urged to waste all my credit before I go overseas for this month."**

"If it means I get to hear your pretty voice, I don't think I mind. You sound extremely sleep-deprived; you should sleep as soon as you board the plane."

**"Yes, Mum."**

"Shh, child. How's your coffee?"

**"I told the guy my name was Satan. I got it back as 'Sarah', how very fun."**

"Ah, I sometimes miss Starbucks."

**"No you don't, it's overpriced and the coffee is - well, damn, I really can't say anything against it right now."**

"Dork."

**"Shush."**

"You'll be back soon, right?"

**"Half a month, Sol. Will. I'll be back in fifteen, sixteen days...that's if I qualify for the finals, but who knows? I might."**

"You're a smart bean. You'll qualify."

**"Thanks."**

"No problem, lo - Nico."

**"I think, maybe, we should schedule a date to meet after I get back."**

"Whoa."

**"You don't have to - I just figured -"**

"No, no, it's great. I'd...I'd love that. Honestly."

**"Okay. Hey, you should be sleeping, you know."**

"Insomnia, Nico. It's a bitch. Besides, I want to talk to you - I forgot how you sounded like, you adorable little man."

**"I don't want to keep you awake; it's a school day, isn't it?"**

"Don't worry, Nico."

**"How about this, I've got a book here with me, I'll read it out to you till you fall asleep or till it's time for me to board the plane, okay?"**

"Hmm. What book is it?"

**"Gordon Ferris' Pilgrim Soul, I love Ferris. He wrote Truth Dare Kill and The Hanging Shed, too."**

"Okay."

**"Ahem. _By Wednesday night I'd interviewed all the robbery victims._ Don't laugh!"**

"Sorry, it's just...you're adorable. Please proceed."

_**"I had a clear enough picture of the crimes and I was rehearsing my findings with Sam before explaining to Shimon Belsinger and his pals."** _

"I don't understand."

**"This is the fourth chapter, of course you don't."**

"Ah. Sorry. Go on, then.'

_**"'The thief was picky. He followed public displays of wealth.'** _

_**'"Folk flaunting it?'** _

_**'"Not necessarily. But deducing who might have money. Car dealers, shop owners. Businessmen. Professional classes.'** _

_**'"But that could apply to non-Jews.'"** _

"Mm."

**"Are you sleepy?"**

"Very. Your voice is calming. Therapeutic."

_**"'The timing helped. He would know they'd all be at prayer.'** _

_**'"But again, why not Protestants or Catholic businessmen on a Sunday morning?'** _

_**'"Sundays are dead. A thief would be more obvious. Whereas...'** _

_**'"The Saturday Sabbath...'** _

_**'"Then there's the refugee aspect. The Jews fled here with all the jewellery and gold they could carry.'** _

_**"Sam was nodding. 'Adds up. How did he do it? Shimon said there was no sign of break-ins.'"** _

"I might get this...book."

**"You have a very feminine yawn."**

"So I've been told."

**"Hmmph."**

"Hmmph indeed. Don't stop, please."

_**"'Each theft was preceded by a visit from the gas board. Or rather someone pretending. Everybody opens the door for the gasman. He'd have been able to confirm there was stuff worth nicking. He'd establish the layout for the raids, and probably took impressions of the keys. I looked at some of the keys; they felt waxy.'** _

_**'"You've cracked it, Douglas! All you need is a name.'** _

_**"'I'm going to follow the loot. Unless the thief is stockpiling his personal treasure cave with trinkets to admire, he'd have to fence the stolen goods. Anywhere in Glasgow - other than Hyndland and Bearsden - and you'll find pawnshops and small jewellers.'** _

**"How are you following up?"**

"..."

**"Oh."**

"..."

**"Sweet dreams, Will."**

**[Call Disconnected]**

 

*****

 

08:31  
I'm piNING

**_08:32  
And I'm trying to get some work done._ **

** _08:34  
I go away for a month and I'm already lost._ **

** _08:35  
Will has a crush on a guy, nothing new._ **

**_08:36  
Great. _ **

08:37  
I missed you, Cecil. You always contributed a lot to the conversation.

** _08:39  
He's full sass when he's pining._ **

08:40  
Excuse you, I'm full sass always.

_**08:41  
Better believe it.** _

_**08:42  
Will I be seeing you two at the auditions for the group singing contest or are you gonna hang me dry again?** _

**_08:43  
Oh, man, we're the original trio. Course I'll be there._ **

08:45  
What song are we singing?

_**08:46  
I'm feeling a little Panic! At The Disco.** _

08:47  
yass

_**08:48  
oh, boy** _

_**08:49  
So, what song?** _

_**08:50  
How 'bout This Is Gospel?** _

08:51  
I love you, Lou.

_**08:52  
Tch. You said that when I bought you ice cream a few months ago. Traitor.** _

08:53  
I have enough love for both of you.

**_08:54  
Save it for Nico._ **

**_08:55  
Who???_ **

08:56  
cONVO OFFICIALLY OVER

 

*

 

[You have 15 messages from group chat  _IRONICALLY BEST FRIENDS._ VIEW?]

 

*

 

[Calling PFLPSB]

_"The number you have called could not be reached at this time. Please try again later."_

**"This is Nico; evidently I'm not around. Leave me a message after the beep and I'll call you back later."**

"Hey, uh, this is Will. Sol. Whatever you want to call me. I miss you. How do I reach you on Skype? Don't listen to this. I'm really really bored."

**BEEP.**

"Will, again. You said you set up a Skype account but I can't find you - I don't know your last name and I can't reach your sister. Damn it. Call me."

**BEEP.**

"Okay, I know it's like the third time I've called and I only just realised you won't be using the same number overseas, so sue me. Just ignore all my previous messages. Bye."

**BEEP.**

"I know I came to that realisation before but it's four in the morning and I can't sleep and I wish I had someone to talk to, damn."

**BEEP.**

"Fifteen days feels like forever. Get back soon. I hope you're getting plenty of sleep. Don't overwork yourself. Ah, I do sound like a mum. Nevermind, good night."

**BEEP.**

"Am I actually leaving a message a day? Get back soon, again."

**BEEP.**

"Make it two messages a day. I'm going to flood your messages."

**BEEP.**

"Nicooo. My friends and I will now serenade you with Brendon Urie.  _IF YOU LOVE ME LET ME GO..."_

**BEEP.**

"I'm actually really irritating, I know. Wish you would talk to me, God damn."

**BEEP.**

"I got that book you read to me. It's actually really frickin' good. I bought The Hanging Shed, too, and I think I'm in love. Thanks for reading me to sleep the other day, by the way. That was...nice. It was different, anyhow. How are you doing? I hope the competition isn't too dull."

**BEEP.**

"I'm calling tonight because it's raining and I don't know what to do with my life. I think I secretly hate days like this. It's almost mocking me."

**BEEP.**

 

 

(AUTHOR'S NOTES BECAUSE IT DIDN'T FIT INTO THE END NOTES :((( )

IT'S BRENDON URIE'S BIRTHDAY

IN HONOUR OF IT:

  
It was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music."

Then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!"

"that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool."

And then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. So Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this:

"YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy."

and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it.

"it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend."

with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in.

The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?!

We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd."

Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful."

I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright.

Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two."

"The madness of two."

oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck?

"no you poured it all over yourself."

"yeah you poured it on yourself man here."

"we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo we're gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahem. Sorry. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the new chapter, my lovely dork potatoes - yes, I'm keeping that term of endearment.
> 
> That's all for now - wish me luck for my marching competition tomorrow. Smol Satan slash Emo Dad signing out.


	11. NOT A NEW CHAPTER, JUST FANART

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the title says. 
> 
> FANART BY THE BRILLIANT [ SAM.](http://nerdzewordart.tumblr.com)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY OKAY SO I'M FREAKING OUT I MIGHT CRY   
> I'VE ALREADY CRIED AT SCHOOL BECAUSE WE GOT INTO THE FINALS DAMMIT, BUT NOW IT'S EVEN MORE HAPPINESS  
> THE RECEPTION OF THIS FIC IS SO GREAT AND I LOVE YOU GUYS FOR STICKING WITH MY SLOW UPDATES AND SHITTY WRITING AND MESSAGING ME ON TUMBLR BECAUSE OF IT -  
> You guys are the absolute effin' best and I love you. I love you, damn it.  
> *wants to scream some more*  
> I'll update as soon as possible, I promise, but I have to get ready for my drill camp - yey Boys' Brigade - and Sports Day, which is tomorrow and the day after that. See you all in the next chapter!
> 
>  
> 
> The artist can be found [ here.](http://nerdzewordart.tumblr.com)

[ ](http://bailci.tumblr.com/image/142763747175)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *MORE SCREAMS*  
> FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM @smol_asiansatan OR ON TUMBLR [ HERE.](http://theswiftone27.tumblr.com)


	12. A Chapter Before I Go Away To Drill Camp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico finally texts Will back.  
> Reyna is a bad-motherfucking-ass.
> 
> First time in this fic that I take it outside of text messages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time  
> Since I last updated  
> And I'll tell you all about it  
> Right now, actually. 
> 
> You can't see me but I'm trying not to scream at all the nice comments. You guys are so patient; I love you all. Damn. I'm going away to drill camp for the weekend, but I thought - hey! Why don't we update first? - so here we are. School is fun, algebra is brill - I'm a Maths nerd - and I hope you all are doing just as well.
> 
> Honestly, thank you for being patient! My Instagram is @smol_asiansatan on which I am very very gay, and my Tumblr can be found [ here.](http://theswiftone27.tumblr.com)

**09:01  
Will?**

09:02  
Hey, who is this?

**09:03  
It's Nico. Temporary number.**

09:04  
oh.

**09:05  
I apologise for any late messages. WiFi here is shit, too.**

09:06  
Where actually are you?

**09:07  
What, worried, Mum?**

09:09  
Hmmph. Ungrateful child. I should've left you in the rain so many years ago.

**09:10  
Hmm. **

**09:11  
I qualified.**

09:12  
You qualified.

09:13  
NICO

09:14  
Holy shit, Neeks

**09:15  
Don't lose it on me, Mum. It's just qualifying, there's no way of knowing for sure if I've won anything.**

09:16  
You're full of shit, Neeks, you'll win something.

**09:17  
You have too much faith in me.**

09:18  
Huh. 

09:19  
Or it's the other way around and you're a self-derogatory lil shit.

**09:20  
Sums me up, yes.**

**09:21  
I'm exhausted.**

**09:22  
As if one mum wasn't enough, Percy and Jason have formed something called the "PROTECT NICO ALLIANCE", PNA for short. **

**09:23  
The whole gang's tuned in to watch me compete. **

09:24  
Awwh. You'll be okay, Neeks.

**09:25  
Sure hope so.**

**09:26**  
I kind of miss you, which is stupid.

**[Message Failed To Send. Try Again?]**

**09:28  
I'm stupid.**

09:29  
Don't be ridiculous. You're a finalist, you idiot.

09:30  
I miss you.

**09:31  
Don't get all sentimental on me, Sol.**

09:32  
Hmmph. Win a medal for me.

09:33  
Something shiny.

**09:34  
Fine.**

**09:35  
I've got to go. Don't want to use up Reyna's battery; she'll kill me.**

**09:36  
I'll talk to you later.**

09:37  
OK

09:38  
Bye, Nico.

 

*

 

_12:31  
B_

_12:32  
HIT B_

_12:33  
YES NICO YES_

**12:34  
I'm not supposed to take hints from you while the competition's going on, idiot**

**12:35  
How the fuck do you even know**

_12:36  
Annabeth's watching on my end. We set up cameras pretty good, I think._

12:37  
Nico's on a roll. Four right answers out of five questions so far.

**12:38  
I don't know how to tell you guys this, but I cannot afford to entertain you all, now.**

**12:39  
DAMN IT REYNA GOT THE POINT**

12:40  
Reyna's a badass.

_12:41  
Competitions for our Neek Neeks._

**12:42  
Fuck both of you very much. With a horse.**

_12:43  
Don't support bestiality, sorry, Neeks._

**12:44  
Annabeth must be into it, though.**

12:45  
OH

_12:46  
WHAT THE FUCK, MAN_

_12:47  
YOU DO NOT DESERVE THAT THREE POINTS _

_12:48  
JASON BRO CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS_

**12:49  
BYE PERCY**

_12:50  
Wait, so you know we..._

_12:51  
Fuck._

**12:52  
THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT DON'T GIVE ME INFORMATION I DON'T WANT THANK BYE**

12:53  
holy shit

**12:54  
NOPETY NOPE NOPE . BIZ . UK**

_12:55  
You don't have to think about it_

_12:56  
Annabeth says C. Click C, C, C._

12:57  
Look at him struggling with the buzzer. Smol bean.

**12:58  
FUCK OFF :-)))))**

12:59  
He pressed it, he pressed it.

_13:01  
He's got that cute furrow between his eyebrows._

**13:02  
Oh my god, I hate both of you.**

**13:03  
They're going to take my phone and the cameras you gave me away if you don't shut up.**

_13:04  
Fine, fine._

_13:05  
Good luck, Nico._

13:06  
With Reyna, you're gonna need it.

**13:07  
I love your faith in me.**

 

*****

 

Nico's waiting.

He can't bear it; the pressure is mounting in him, building an impenetrable barricade between his patience and where he is right now. Should he try to speak, he might freeze over completely, and that feeling fucking sucks, and he would know. He'd know.

Then a teenager with messy blond hair and twinkling blue eyes appears on the screen, and Nico's heart lifts, then drops entirely.

Because Will is  _gorgeous._

Nico hates that. He hates even thinking it, because Will is grinning and holy fuck, if that's not the most attractive thing he's ever seen. Will's got blue eyes bluer than blue and lips that curve upwards, generous and full, and he's got dimples that make his cheeks cave in and fuck, Nico can't think straight. His breath hitches in his throat and he swallows, trying to find it again.

"Hi, Sunshine."

"Don't call me that,"He says, and his voice is back to normal, a snap, almost. Will doesn't flinch at the tone, in fact, his grin widens. Silly git.

"Fuck, Nico, you're actually really attractive. Awkward emo boy my ass."

"Fuck off."

Grin. Wide. "You're even more adorable like this. You look like you've just rolled out of bed."

"Well, you're not wrong..."

"God," Will laughs, and it may be the best thing Nico has ever heard, apart from the small  _ting_ of the buzzer as it bleeped the correct answer a few hours ago. "God, we should have done this sooner. Skype makes my voice sound funny. Do I sound funny? I sound funny. God. God, Nico." He sounds like he's trying very hard not to panic. Nico feels a lot better, suddenly. 

"You sound fine."

"Oh." Will bites at his lip. It's an endearingly normal gesture, making Will seem less of the person he spends time talking to on the phone, that scary strange new person who knows so much about Nico it's terrifying, and more of an actual human. An awkward human. 

They sit there in silence, Nico lowering his head as his cheeks turned pink, till he could feel the tips of his sharp ears burning.

Then Will laughs, and both of them start laughing, and Nico doesn't know why, but that helps. A lot. He clutches at his stomach, wheezing, and finally breaks off, glancing at the screen of his laptop. Will is covering his face with his hands, trying to stop, and that starts Nico off again. "You're just as much of an idiot in real life," He gasps, and Will mock pouts, folding tanned arms. The tan is authentic, not the tacky Spray-On some people seem to favour, and Nico registers that - he registers that Will evidently is outside long enough to maintain an even tan over his face and arms, and tries to ignore the flame spreading over his face again as he thinks about it.

"You're smaller than I thought you would be."

"Fuck you," Nico returns, very well-worded.

A moment in which they stare at each other, and then Will laughs again. Nico smiles instead, and it feels so natural that it's almost scary.

"Well, at least I know now what you look like exactly so the fanfiction can be more accurate," Will says, and Nico thinks of the messages he'd sent before and drops his head into his hands, laughing. He's acting like a fucking teenage girl, and he doesn't know how to stop, and if he even can stop. Will is looking at him when he glances up again, eyes fond. "'Nico is scrawny and pale, but he has a face like a Greek god.'"

"Oh, god."

"Uh huh, sweetheart."

"You're worse this way. I could not believe you could be worse, but you are." Nico shakes his head, and it feels light. He feels dizzy, and wonders if he should get some water.

"You're better." 

"You're flirting. Don't do that."

Will grins, as if that's exactly what he means to do. "What, are your friends in the room? Wouldn't want them to be privy to my courtship of a wild Neek Neeks."

"I'm not a fucking Pokemon."

"You're cu-ute when you swear. I didn't realise, not really, anyway. Your expression doesn't even change."

"Maybe because 'fuck' is suddenly part of my daily vocabulary."

"I sure hope so," Will winks, and Nico wishes he could punch him through the screen. He settles for a middle finger instead.

"PG-13, please. I still have the competition going on."

"Well, if you say 'please'..."

"Fuck off, Will." But he's smiling. Will is, too; his teeth gleam. 

"What time is it over there?"

Nico glances at the clock absently. "Some fifteen minutes past ten. I can't sleep."

"It's noon here. You should get some sleep."

He gives his best poker face impression, but Will is unmoved. "Hey, you read me to sleep last time. Might as well return the favour." He spreads his hands in a _w_ _hat can you do?_ gesture, but Nico doesn't buy the innocent act for a moment.

"Jeez, Will."

"C'mon. Play along."

Nico frowns. Then, he turns and dims his lamp. The hotel room is dark, with only the faint glow of Nico's laptop to illuminate it. He sprawls onto his bed, flopping onto lumpy pillows.  It's no second home, but it was the cheapest option he got. "Fine. There."

Will's grin makes him feel like he's flying.

"Need a bedtime story, little one?"

"Shut up, Mum."

"Now, that's no way to talk to your mother," Will chides, and stretches a little. If it's noon there, he's unusually tired...yet, Nico remembers, he is an insomniac, after all. "Let's see. I have...well, I'm too lazy to reach for a book right now, so I'll tell you one I can remember word for word, translated directly from Chinese by my very brilliant friend."

"Here we go."

"Close your eyes."

Nico's nervous; he doesn't know what to do, but he closes his eyes. He can hear everything a little more clearly now, the whirr of the air conditioner as it blows cool air onto his sensitive skin, Will's quiet breathing, which he breathes in sync to. In, and out. In, and out. He feels tired, but then again, he's been tired all week. Reyna is a ruthless opponent, but he's glad for her - she makes him feel better about being here, so out of his comfort zone. And Percy and Jason, thoughtful idiots, figuring how to livestream the competition from Nico's end to where they're sitting with their girlfriends on Jackson's couch. 

And now he has Will.

It feels like home - the home he wants, not the one he has. If he ever had a real home at all.

"Okay. There once was an old man who lived in a temple in the middle of the woods who said: there once was a little boy who lived in a village with his mother who said: there once was an old man who lived in a temple in the middle of the woods who said..."

Nico considers flipping him the middle finger, but Will's voice relaxes him more than the actual words do. The actual words make him want to punch Will in the face, really. In his pretty face.  _Fuck._

He thinks he's drifting off. He can still hear Will's voice, but his eyelids are heavy, and not opening anytime soon. It's more like white noise in his mind, a low hum in the meditative silence of the room. He curls his toes, feeling the sheets wrap around his weary body, and listens to Will. The idiot is still going, for about the thirtieth, fortieth time-? - Nico's lost count, and he doesn't think it should matter.

He sleeps.

 

*

 

**08:05  
Thank you for last night.**

**08:06  
About to compete again. Wish me luck.**

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'LL UPDATE MORE WHEN I GET BACK I PROMISE  
> I'M JUST REALLY PSYCHED FOR DRILL CAMP AND I CANNOT FUNCTION RIGHT NOW *does little wiggly hop in my boots*
> 
> Love you beans for reading this far. Send me prompts, suggestions, remarks. Just do it, I don't bite.   
> Smol Satan signing off, he's too excited.


	13. I SAID I'D UPDATE WHEN I GOT BACK FROM DRILL CAMP BUT THAT WAS SO LONG AGO I'M SORRY MY SMOL BEANS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, shit. Drill camp was fun in a painful way: curfew at twelve, wakeup calls at five AM, drill till our feet were sore in the boots we have to wear and games in between so it doesn't loop us in with national service training (the only difference is that we're kids and don't shave our heads oops) It was actually really great, though, I had loads of fun, met lots of new people and am back with new experience on my shoulders.
> 
> I have to apologise profusely here: I said I'd update when I got back but the truth is that I have so *much* to do - I passed my Citizenship Badge, but am taking the Environmental Conservation, Communication (edit: this is done yippee) and Safety alongside it - exams are also in a few weeks and I'm just so *stressed* grr. Aside from that, there're debate preparations every day and I love debating and writing but it's wearing me out.
> 
> But on a happier note...wait, no. Not exactly happier, but more fun. More fun than studying, and coming from a nerd, this is tremendous. Captain America: Civil War was amazing; as a die-hard #teamcap I was so happy with how it turned out, spoilers aside. 
> 
> ToA is out! As an Asian, I have to wait a while till I can get it, so no, I have not read it, yes, I know Solangelo is finally canon, yes, it makes me the happiest potato in the world. Thank, Uncle Rick, go on being the awesome writer of diversity you are!
> 
> Psst. You. Yes, you. You can find me on Instagram @smol_asiansatan or on Tumblr [ here.](http://theswiftone27.tumblr.com)

 

Reyna's watching Nico.

He's worried her since they'd met, sickly-looking sort of boy, little more than skin and bones. But the hand that had shaken hers'd been surprisingly strong, and the voice that issued the greeting steady and deep, with a hint of a rich accent beneath the Americanised one. He was stronger than he looked, and there was something about him that made the usual small talk seem petty.

Recently, though, she noticed the bags under his eyes, the small sway in his hesitant strides. His skin's clammier and paler than usual, as if the boy wasn't as washed out as a sheet when she first met him at the airport. There's a slur to his words, too, and he talks and walks like an old man, wearily. 

Reyna's seen too many kids acting like it's fine, acting up because of nerves, but she knows Nico isn't one of them. Something's wrong with him.

She'd dismissed the thoughts of it at first, but...

Nico glances up from his notes, and a bit of a smile curls his pale lips.

She smiles back, trying to meet his dark eyes, but they cloud over fast when he gathers that she's analysing him. He returns to his notes almost frantically, blazing through pages, but Reyna isn't letting him go that easily. 

"You okay, Nico?" She scoots over, and he doesn't shy away, which is an improvement - he flinched when one of their fellow contestants had tried to hug him the other day. Instead he looks at her with large, unimpressed eyes, the darkness of insomnia hanging low beneath them. He looks paler than usual, almost transparent, and seems to glow in the light around them. The sort of glow that bleaches him out completely. 

"...fine. You sound like my sister."

She worries her lower lip.

"You've been...well, detached recently."

"Nerves. I always get jittery like this." He laughs, but it's strange - his smile doesn't quite reach those tired eyes. What have they seen, Reyna wonders.

"I think you should get some water, you sound like you have a cold."

"Jesus, I'm fine, Reyna." 

Now he sounds a little annoyed, as if he thinks Reyna doesn't believe him. She wants to, but she also remembers how her sister told her the same thing about her nerves before a speech and ended up violently projectile vomiting over the stage. That was when she was fifteen, and she hadn't wanted to present something for five years. Her stomach clenches as she thinks of Hylla - it's been too long since they last saw each other. That was when they'd decided to come out together to their aunt Circe, who could be a bit of a bitch at times, but treated the girls well; their parents had left when they were very young.

She blinks back to reality and glares at Nico. Tries to soften it, a bit.

"Nico..."

"I told you. There's nothing wrong with me."

He stands up, evidently annoyed, brushing away a lock of his black hair from his face. 'I don't have a cold. I'm not sick. I just...I didn't have breakfast, okay, I'll grab some later.' He starts for the door quickly, where he evidently hopes Reyna can't catch him. He walks fast, but he's wobbling - how can he not see that something's wrong with him? Maybe he's right and maybe it's just nerves, and maybe Reyna is worrying because she's always been overtly-sensitive like that. 

She sighs and puts her head in her hands.

 _I'll e-mail Hylla,_ she thinks.  _Ask her how she's doing. It'll be awkward as all hell but she's my sister, damn it._

"Hey, watch where you're going!"

Reyna glances up just in time to see the colour drain from Nico's face as the blonde he'd bumped into complains loudly, holding her arm - she sprints for him, but 

_Thump._

He falls before she can get there, and passes out cold. 

 

* * *

 

 

**12:31  
Is this Will Solace?**

**12:32  
I'm Reyna. Nico used my phone to text you last, and...**

12:34  
oh, hi Reyna.

12:35  
yeah, sorry bout that.

12:36  
how's the smol bean doing?

**12:37  
He fainted.**

12:38  
what the fuck

12:38  
wait what the fuck happened

**12:40  
Calm down. I think he's sick. There're medics here, it's OK.**

12:41  
he's sick?

**12:42  
He...yes.**

**12:43  
He asked me to text you. Said he didn't want his mother worrying, whatever that means.**

12:44  
tell him he's an idiot and his mum loves him.

**12:44  
Well, it's not the weirdest thing I've ever told him.**

**12:45  
He says to ask you to lay off his mum. **

**12:46  
You two must be close if he can remember your number by heart.**

12:46  
he has a good memory.

**12:47  
He asked a contestant for his email three times yesterday and the email was "anemail@gmail.com".**

12:48  
oh, neek neeks.

**12:49  
Do you want to talk to him?**

12:50  
can i?

12:51  
would he like to...talk to me?

 

* * *

 

 

**[Calling 01X XXX XXXX]**

**"Hey, Mum."**

"Nico, what the fuck were you thinking?"

**"God, what did Reyna tell you, again?"**

"She told me that you fainted. Hell, Nico, a healthy person doesn't just faint out of nowhere; what the hell did you do?"

**"You really do sound like a mother."**

"Nico."

**"I might've...skipped a few meals."**

"??!!?"

**"That was a very outraged sound right there. It was two meals, big issue. Dinner was shit and I was studying, OK?"**

"NICO. You cannot just skip meals. You can- _not."_

**"I didn't really faint faint, you know; I got a little dizzy and collapsed but I didn't lose consciousness."**

"For shit's sake -"

**"'Sides, there's a really cute doc here, so it's a win-win."**

"I - what the fuck, Nico?"

**"See, I distracted you."**

"Oh my god, Neeks. Honestly. You need to take care of yourself."

**"Is everyone in my life determined on telling me how much of a fuck-up I am - Reyna, no, Reyna, wait -"**

"Neeks?"

**"Ah, she's gone out. Nevermind."**

"I hope you've eaten now."

**"Yeah, they've given me this fruit salad thing. Stop fretting, I'm fine."**

"People who are 'fine' eat meals regularly."

**"I said I was sorry, Mum. How are you doing?"**

"Me? I'm fine. Might've come close to being expelled recently, though."

**"What?"**

"Long story. I broke someone's nose."

**"Sol, what the fuck."**

"The magical three words that we both use too often, there they are."

**"What happened?"**

"There was a, ah...long story, I can't really...yeah."

**"If I had to tell you about my 'fainting' you have to tell me about whose nose you broke and why."**

"Fine."

**"Well?"**

"Shouldn't you be resting?"

**"Will."**

"Fine, fine. Jeez. Well, okay, where do I start? There's this competition every year, named after some bullshit singer who uses AutoTune to hit high notes - not gonna name names, but yeah. My friends and I, we go every year; this year we sang Panic! At The Disco and we ran into some idiots from school.

There's this asshole named Clive - well, you wouldn't know him, but he called my best friend, Cecil, who can hit really high notes a fag, and -'

**"He called him a what?"**

"Yes."

**"Fuck, if I'd been there -"**

"I was going to go for more except people starting shouting and someone called the teachers. He started it first, though. Cecil said something and he - well, let's just say he's a fucking asshole."

**"He'd better pray I never meet him."**

"Neeks, I love you but you're smol; he'd break your tiny wrists."

**"What, just because I'm small-sized means I can't fight?"**

"No, it means it makes you a bigger target."

**"...I don't have tiny wrists."**

"Okay, okay, sweetheart."

**"I really, really love these nicknames. I couldn't think of better ways to address me. Who needs their birth names anyway? They're so sweet; they mean so much to me. Thank you, Will; thank you for these nicknames."**

"You're like a grandma when you're annoyed."

**"You're like a mum every hour of the day."**

"You're adorable."

**"...shut up."**

"That's your blushing voice; you're blushing."

**"What the fuck is a blushing voice? I don't - I'm not blushing. I don't blush."**

"You are; you were using this voice when you blushed on video call the other day."

**"That was one time."**

"I'll never let you forget it."

**"I hate you."**

"You're blushing right now, aren't you?"

**"I'm - shut up."**

"I've been thinking."

**"You want to drop out of school and become a stripper."**

"I - what the  _fuck,_ Nico, what the actual fuck?"

**"There was this really conservative guy passing by. On the day we met he looked at my pride bracelet and started chanting something about how it's unnatural and shit like that. He also disliked Reyna's tattoos. Her tats are fuckin' great."**

"Why are we not married?"

**"Soon, my love."**

"Oh, boy. No, I've been thinking about where to take you when we meet."

**"You've...you've been thinking about things like that?"**

"Course, you idiot. You're my best friend."

**"...oh, right, yes. You're...you're mine, too."**

"There's this small coffeeshop. There're cats to pet inside, and bookshelves everywhere. I know the owner; she's great."

**"Oh, OK."**

"Do I sound creepy?"

**"What?"**

"I'm planning for when we meet, and I don't even know if you'd really like to meet or not."

**"I want to meet."**

"Truly, honestly?"

**"I can't best-friend someone I've only seen once, can I?"**

"I can't marry someone I've only seen once, either."

**"We're meeting, then."**

"Yay. Oh, shit, I gotta go; my shift's starting at work."

**"I might get my SIM card set up later."**

"Message me if you do. Skype?"

**"...okay."**

"Bye, Neeks."

**"Bye, Sol."**

**[Call Disconnected]**

 

* * *

 

 

**14:51  
They won't let me out of here till it's dinnertime and even then Reyna'll need to accompany me.**

_14:52  
Serves you right._

**14:53  
I'M SO BORED**

14:54  
EMERGENCY

14:55  
SOS

14:56  
SEND HELP

**14:57  
What level?**

_14:58  
One for burning water, ten for starting a fire._

**14:59  
Eleven for having a guest arrive early and you're still in your boxers.**

_15:01  
I'd say that's a six._

**15:02  
Fine, eleven for leaving your bedroom door open and asking your best friend to come over and then forgetting about it and having him walk in with you doing the frickety-frack with your girlfriend.**

_15:03  
THAT WAS ONE TIME_

**15:05  
I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE NOW**

15:06  
How much is "Piper in the kitchen"?

**15:07  
RIP**

_15:08  
rip_

15:09  
FRENS

**15:11  
I dunno, man. No god can save you now.**

_15:12  
have fun, grace._

15:15  
WAIT JACKSON I CAN FIX IT

15:16  
I'LL BRING HER OVER TO YOURS FOR DINNER

_15:17  
I'm supposed to be on cooking duty, I don't think you'll like blue-coloured meatballs._

15:18  
BETTER THAN POISONOUS MEATBALLS PLEASE

**15:19  
Well, this is fun.**

_15:20  
Well..._

15:21  
BRO CODE

_15:22  
BRO CODE???_

**15:23  
Bro code??**

15:24  
THOU SHALT HELP BRO SHOULD BRO NEED HELP.

_15:25  
Fine, but you're taking care of my pregnant wife._

**15:26  
WHAT**

15:27  
excuse ME

_15:28  
Shit...we were supposed to have brunch on Sat and I would tell you guys._

**15:29**  
YOU FUCKER  


**15:31  
CONGRATS**

15:32  
JFC JACKSON

_15:32  
yeah, yeah, we got positive a few days ago._

**15:33  
was this planned???**

_15:34  
sort of? idk_

15:35  
rn idgaf i'm coming over

**15:36  
uughhh don't leave me alone **

_15:37  
Love you, Neeks_

15:38  
have fun

**15:39**  
凸  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO MAD I HAD TO REWRITE THIS CHAPTER COS I FORGOT TO SAVE AND AO3 RELOADED ON ME
> 
> It was supposed to be longer; I apologise; I raged after I lost my progress and then my muse ;-;
> 
> Thank thank thank you for following thus far. 
> 
> If you're new to this fic and liked it, feel free to hit the kudos and leave me a review. For all those returning, a review would also be appreciated (it makes my day to see your comments and even if I don't respond to all of them, I adore them all and I adore you all)
> 
> Side note: I'm working on a long, one-chapter, slow burn Theyna fic? Would anyone read it if I did?
> 
> -Smol Sad Gay


	14. I HAZ RETURNED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: LONG ASS RANT AHEAD.
> 
> Art, GIFs and etcetera have been sent my way and I have tried not to explode out of myself with every one of them.  
> The GIF is kev-thecarpincho 's, thank you, love (may I point out that he also looks like Dan Howell I might write a Phan now) you're very talented and I adore you. 
> 
> Thank to Preethi for our correspondence on Tumblr (I made a new fren yey ;-;) I'm very, indescribably, tremendously, utterly, inexplicably grateful that I've gained a new friend or two out of this experience and I'm happy to hear that the fic is being enjoyed thus far. I also hope to never use that many adverbs again.
> 
> MY MID TERMS ARE FINALLY OVER AND I'M SOBBING WITH RELIEF HOLY SHIT
> 
> Thank you for bearing - and I know some of you have been bearing, I know some of you have been here since the very start (*wink wink* you know who you are my lovelies) - with my shitty, short chapters, prolly OOC characterisation, and inconsistent updates. 
> 
> I GOT ToO:THO AT LAST AND NO SPOILERS BUT I LOVE IT
> 
> I ALWAYS BORE YOU WITH THE LONG OSCAR SPEECHES I'M SORRY ONTO THE REAL STORY

//Look at this look at how perfect it is I'm sorry

 

 

* * *

 

 

**03:02  
Will?**

03:03  
hey

03:04  
wait, are you ok? 

03:05  
isn't it like 3AM over there or something?

**03:06  
I can't sleep.**

03:07  
oh.

03:08  
do you wanna

03:09  
is it ok if i call?

03:10  
i'm basically a ball of caffeine at this point it's like 10PM and i can't sleep either

**03:13  
OK**

 

*****

 

[Calling PFLPSEB]

"Hey, Neeks."

**"Hi."**

"God, you sound depressed. You okay over there?"

**"Sort of. I'm considering skipping tomorrow's round."**

"That's allowed?"

**"We can choose in which rounds we compete. Something like that."**

"Oh."

**"I got all your messages and voice-mails, by the way."**

"... _oh."_

**"I missed you too, you know. Miss you. Present tense."**

"Really?"

**"No. You're a dick."**

"You love me."

**"Do I?"**

"You'd better."

**"I love the dog more."**

"This again. You're gonna make me jealous."

**"How do you know that isn't intentional?"**

"Oh, I adore you, Neeks."

**"Shh. Reyna's room is beside mine, and she wakes at the slightest noise. I've got to be quiet."**

"You really should sleep."

**"Will?"**

"Hmm?"

**"...I miss your stupid face."**

"You haven't even seen my stupid face irl."

**"Did you just use 'irl' in an actual conversation?"**

"Maybe."

**"You're an idiot."**

"Mmhm."

**"..."**

"Neeks?"

**"Yeah?"**

"Go to sleep, smol bean."

**"I can't."**

"You can't or you won't?"

**"I...both. I'm not tired.**

"You sound pretty tired, boo."

**"Stop with all the pet names."**

"Okie dokie, sunshine."

**"Holy shit, you're annoying."**

**[Call Disconnected]**

 

* * *

 

03:15  
Nico?

03:16  
are you OK?

03:17  
Hey

**03:18  
I didn't hang up. The line...**

**03:19  
idk.**

03:20  
OK.

03:21  
Am I annoying you?

**03:22  
Do people tell you that a lot?**

**03:23  
sorry**

**03:24  
I don't know, Will**

03:25  
You're going to be OK.

03:26  
Did something happen?

**[PFLPSEB is typing]**

**[PFLPSEB is active, 03:30]**

03:31  
Neeks?

03:32  
You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.

**03:33  
I got a few calls from home.**

03:34  
OK.

**03:35  
My step-mum's sick. My dad's overseas. Hazel wants me to go home. **

**03:36  
she didn't say it outright, but...**

03:37  
Are you going to be OK?

**03:38  
yeah. **

03:39  
Sure?

**[PFLPSEB is typing]**

**[PFLPSEB is active, 03:40]**

**03:42  
I should go to sleep.**

**03:43  
I'll be catching a flight back home in a few days.**

03:44  
OK

03:45  
Sweet dreams, Nico.

 

* * *

 

 

_10:22  
Are you okay, buddy?_

_10:23  
Hazel called all of us._

 

**Read, 10:24**

 

* * *

 

 

10:22  
Bro.

10:23  
The bro code states that thou shalt not withhold your feelings from other bros.

10:24  
Answer my calls, goddammit.

10:25  
Nico

10:26  
Nicoooo

 

**Read, 10:27**

 

* * *

 

 

Reyna hugs Nico di Angelo goodbye and wonders why his skin, normally so cold, is burning under her touch.

"Promise you won't skip any more meals," She says sternly, and for a moment he almost smiles at her. She sees the beginnings of his lips curving upwards, but they fold in just as fast, and the moment is gone. He nods, albeit with a roll of his dark eyes, and turns back to his luggage.

She knows about his family - or at least, as much as he seems willing to tell.

A father, estranged, some sort of mafia boss, or at least someone involved in dirty business. She thinks reminiscently of The Godfather's Don Corleone and chides herself for the thought. This isn't a gorey, gripping novel anymore, this is bleak reality and it's ruined Nico's.

A sister and a half-sister. The former passed, she presumes, the way he talked about her in the past tense. She's corresponded with Hazel, if briefly, and she likes the girl - chirpy, solemn and grounded despite her background. It's more than what Reyna can say for herself, anyway. She doesn't know much about Nico's sister; she doesn't even know her name, but she knows she isn't something Nico is likely to open up to her about, and never pushed.

He'd never mentioned his birth mother. She didn't even think about it before he'd told her he was going back to take care of his step-mother.

"Reyna," He says, and she glances up.

For a moment he's a small boy, a slender figure swaying uncertainly, black eyes open and vulnerable and scared; for a moment he looks like the person he is inside, hurt and broken and all sorts of afraid. Then it dissolves as he feigns a brave smile and holds out his arms again. Reyna hugs him anyway, and she wonders how he manages to pick up all of his pieces and fit them into his frame again, night after night, every night.

 

She remembers something and reaches into her jacket, pulling out a medal that shines as the light catches it.

"Here. You weren't there when they gave away prizes for the creative writing. You got something."

The surprise looks real enough. He allows her to put it over his neck, but immediately shrugs it off. "How do I know you didn't just pressure the adjudicator into coughing up an extra medal?"

Reyna laughs. "Because he isn't a complete  _idiota,_ that's why. When you publish something, send a copy to me."

"I won't write, Reyna."

"'S what you say now."

She pulls back, scrutinises him. He's doing his best to avoid looking directly at her, a trick she herself knows too well from times of parting.  _"Te echaré de menos,"_ She says, and can't help herself from adding,  _"idiota."_

There's a horn. The taxi's here, ready to take Nico to the airport.

 

* * *

 

 

Persephone is as beautiful as Nico remembers. She kisses him warmly on both cheeks, embraces him, and there's a scent around her as always: the scent of freshly blooming flowers, almost overbearing in the way it makes Nico shrink into himself. 

"Welcome back," She says, and the fact that she sounds nothing as sick as Hazel made her out to be, and that a pair of very familiar loafers had been by the door when he'd removed his shoes and came in, sinks a dagger straight, clean and deep through his heart.

"Where is he?"

"I suppose you mean me."

Nico turns around and slugs his father in the chest.

 

* * *

 

 

_09:21  
Nico, put your phone away._

_09:22  
We're at breakfast, Dad's home._

_09:23  
Nico._

**09:24  
am not talking to hades.**

_09:25  
Nico, he's our father._

"Both of you," Hades says, and Nico switches his cell off. He stares at his blueberry muffin, wishing it would disappear - it seems his promise to Reyna is already on its way to where all the other promises he's made are...hell, he supposes, though he doesn't know for sure. "Nico, how's school?"

"Don't go to school."

"Dear, he's homeschooled, remember?"

There's an  _oof,_ which probably means Persephone has kicked her husband under the table. Hades winces, and straightens. "Sorry. Yes, of course. I must be mistaken, that's Hazel -"

"School's fine."

Hades grunts. He's wearing an expensive looking Italian suit, cut to his tall frame, and surprisingly, stubble resides on his dark chin. He hasn't shaved yet, and the look is foreign to Nico. Nico realises he's staring and looks away, frowning. 

"Understandably, you're upset that we drew you away from your competition..."

"Comes once every five years, but thanks."

"Nico," Hazel hisses, and kicks  _him._

Persephone looks like she wants to stab both males in the eye, but instead smiles and lays a hand on Hades's arm. "How about we talk about your father instead? He's got something for Nico, don't you?"

"I don't want anything from you."

_"Nico."_

His phone buzzes.  _Insomniac Dildo_ flashes across the screen, and Nico regrets his entire existence in the short span of time it takes for Hades to reach across the table with his ringed hand and confiscate it. They all freeze, and Nico wants to disappear along with his muffin, because suddenly he likes the look of it, but stubbornly, the rules of the universe hold him in place.

Hades clears his throat. "Who is -"

"My friend."

"Your -"

"My friend," Nico snaps, and reaches for his phone, but Hades is quicker, pocketing it. 

"Let's have a nice family breakfast, alright?"

"Dear," Persephone sighs. "Give him back his phone, he's not a boy anymore."

"Yes, and I will stab you with this fork -"

"Nico, _shut up."_

He glares at Hazel, but she's in the midst of intervention, plucking his phone from Hades's fingertips - where he'd taken them out after being chided by his wife moments before - and putting it face-down in the middle of the table. She then removes her own phone from her small purse and places it next to his. "All of us. All of our phones. And yes, Dad, I mean both of yours; I know you have two."

"Three," Persephone helpfully supplies, and she puts her own phone down as well.

There's a silence, in which Nico is staring daggers at his father. If he refuses -

He doesn't. He blinks, as if affronted by the sudden change in his daughter, and leans forward to put both of his cells down.

"There. Now, talk like a normal family, darn it." Hazel immediately colours, and Nico bites back the urge to laugh. She's always been rather prudish about cussing. 

"Yes. Well, Hazel, I'm aware that you have a boyfriend now," Hades begins, and the blush is back. At this point Nico's practically bursting. He downs his orange juice hurriedly, wishing their family took vodka this early in the morning - he'd need to be drunk to start sharing about his love life with his father. "I went ahead and did some research on him - very respectable lad, from a good family. I'm proud of your choice."

Oh, she is blushing now, red as a beet.

"You researched her boyfriend?" Persephone hisses at him. Hades looks down like a scolded puppy. 

_Vodka. Now._

"As for Nico, have you had any luck in...well, you're young, but...have you found a suitable companion?"

"No," Nico says, just as Hazel cuts in: "Yes."

"I do not -"

"Nico," Hazel smiles and lays a hand on his arm, like the nice, loving sister she is. Nico knows for a fact that it won't be Frank that does the proposing in the future. "has a very nice boyfriend that he met a few months ago. His name is Will, and he's a med student. Isn't that right, Nico?"

Oh, vodka wouldn't save him now. 

Nico swallows and tries to find a way out of the pit his own sister is digging him into. "Well - I, um -"

"That's great!"

He snaps his head upwards so fast there's a cracking sound. Hades looks like a puppy eager to please, his awkwardness practically written on his face right then. "I mean...that you have someone who loves you so. And a med student. That's...nice."

"Did you - did you just out me?" Nico chokes, and Hazel rolls her eyes.

"Nico, Dad knew you were gay by the time you were twelve."

"That's not - that's not true! I didn't even know when I was twelve! He was never around!"

"I was around," Hades interjects. "long enough for me to gather a clear enough picture."

Persephone looks like  _she's_ holding back laughter, now. Nico wants to cry. 

His phone buzzes. Will, again. He seriously contemplates the possibility of never talking to Will again, considering the fact that his own sister so very blatantly lied to their father's face about how they were in a relationship...ignoring, of course, how red he was flushing just thinking about the prospect of it. Ridiculous! Nico di Angelo would never stoop as low as to fall in love with a complete stranger, much less one with incredibly soulful blue eyes and perfect teeth and...ridiculous! 

"I got it. I'm dreaming. I'm insane. I'm going to wake up and see a therapist right now." He grabs his phone, pushes back his chair and attempts to leave.

Hazel grabs him by the sleeve.

"Don't ignore us for the sake of Will."

_How the hell does she even know his real name?_

"I cannot. Jet lag. I cannot." He yanks away harder, and stomps off to his room. 

 

_09:45  
At least now Dad won't ask about your love life._

**09:47  
I!!! HATE!!! YOU!!!**

 

* * *

 

Will's at work when the call comes, and he almost drops the change he's counting out. He hurriedly pushes a five into the redhead's hands, and excusing himself to the back of the kitchen, answers it with slippery fingers.

"Hey, Sunshine!"

**"I love dying and being dead."**

"You OK? How's your step-mum?"

**"She faked it. I hate everything on this planet."**

"Yes, but what's  _new?"_ He laughs. He feels giddy. Nico is back in the country. "What's up, boi?"

**"Well, for starters, my sister told my dad that we are dating."**

_Oh._

**"Will?"**

"Yeah, yeah, here." He fumbles with the phone and manages a nervous laugh. "Well, make sure to add that I am a fantastic lover, and I have had my fair share of heartbreaks, and am hoping that this time works out -"

**"I hate you, too, now."**

"Lighten up! It's funny." 

_Is it?_

"OK, it's less funny than I thought. What exactly did she say?"

**"I don't know, I left before they finished talking. I want to get drunk."**

"It's ten AM, please don't get drunk."

**"Hmmph. It's loud on your end, whatever the fuck that is. Where are you, exactly?"**

"'M working." Will mouths  _sorry_ when his manager, Kayla, sidles in, but she waves him off. "Yeah, not really the time to be chatting."

**"Oh. Should I hang up?"**

"No." He says it so fast it sounds strange. "I mean, you can, if you'd like, but -"

 **"OK,"** Nico laughs, and it's the greatest thing Will's ever heard. He envisions the straight face bursting into laughter, and colours. **"I won't."**

"So," Will tries to sound as casual as he can, and it's probably not working out. "Um, you're back and all. Are you still up for - you know, us - um, well -"

**"Meeting?"**

"Yeah."

**"Of course. In fact, if it gives me an excuse to escape talks with my father, I'll gladly take it."**

"I thought you said your father was overseas."

**"Nope, he's back, I hate it, he says he knew I was gay since I was twelve."**

"Oh, shit."

**"I didn't even know when I was twelve! This is preposterous."**

"What's preposterous is you using the word 'preposterous' at all."

**"Shush! I should probably let you get back to work."**

Will smiles into the phone and mystified, Kayla stares at him. He probably should hang up right now, but he wants to listen to Nico talk forever. "Call me. Later."

**"Mm. Bye, Will."**

"Bye, Neeks."

He pockets his phone and turns to his manager, grinning like an idiot. "Sorry, was important."

"No, it's fine. It's your break, anyways." She smiles at him, hollers at whoever's in charge of the fries to hurry up, and generally resumes her work. Will leans against the counter instead, wondering why his heart is picking up so much pace at the thought of him possibly dating Nico, insufferably pale, beautiful, awkward Nico. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Nico."

Hades knocks on his son's door. Once. Thrice. Only after six knocks does it crack open just the teensiest bit.

"What do you want?"

"I told you I had something for you."

"I also made it very clear what were my thoughts on that."

Hades shifts uncomfortably. "I know you have every right to push me away, but I am trying - making an effort, son, to -"

"Just come in." Nico opens the door, and slinks back inside. Hades hesitates for a moment before pushing inwards.

His son is sitting on his bed, fiddling with something small. A watch, one Bianca gave him for his - how old had he been? - birthday. Hades's heart gives a little twinge and he sits beside Nico, not knowing if he is welcome, not sure if he cares. Nico lifts his eyes to him, and for a moment Hades sees the little boy swathed in cloth on Maria's knee.  _Maria._ He swallows and looks away, but when he turns back, Nico is looking elsewhere, and the small trance is broken.

"Son -"

"I'm sorry," Nico says, and it sounds like he's spitting out poison. "For all of it. Pushing you away. Blaming you for Bianca's death. Saying you weren't good enough a father."

"But I wasn't."

"Besides the point. I wasn't a good enough son. Good enough brother."

"Hazel thinks you're fine," Hades says, thinking of his daughter with fondness in his heart. 

"Yes, well, I changed."

 _You didn't._ The point is made.

"I am sorry, too."

"No, don't." Nico is standing, going to the window. "Don't you dare. I won't - I won't let you." His voice breaks horribly on the last few words, like he's not more than thirteen again, so angry and so young and looking for someone to blame. "I had no right to complain for what I expected of you. I had no right to expect of you at all. You provided."

"I was never there."

"You provided," Nico insists.

The room goes quiet. Hades stands, too, and goes to his son. 

"I was looking through Bianca's old things," He says, and the abrupt change of subject is enough to make his son flinch. "I found something you might like to keep."

"Is that why you flew back?"

"I flew back because I wanted to see you."

Nico turns to him, dark eyes flashing. "Shut the f - no, that's not it. You never, not in your entire life, you never wanted to see me. Isn't that right? For my birthday, a chauffeur, and don't get me wrong, I adored Jules Albert, but a fucking chauffeur? You never sent me anything after that. Never answered my letters, never picked up my calls. Never even bothered to check in. All those Father's Day ties, I burned. I left them for you, but you never even knew they existed."

"Is this your complaint?"

He sags. 

"I'm -"

"I agree," Hades says stonily. "I was an inadequate father. I never deserved to have you, nor Bianca, nor Hazel, for the matter."

 He reaches into his suit jacket and brings out a small figurine, one belonging to the card game Nico used to play when he was younger.  _Hades,_ the god of the dead. He'd taken the name on as a gag, because his followers thought it was funny, but it seemed to suit him all too well - he'd left his real name behind a long time ago. Bianca had had it in her possession, perhaps hoped to give it to Nico for his birthday later. 

It's one of the first times Hades has ever seen his son cry.

The tears don't come immediately. Nico fights them. They well up in dark eyes, sparkling behind all of his willpower. Then they overflow and he stands there, shaking, looking every bit the boy on Maria's knee so long ago. Hades surges forward and Nico doesn't even move as he embraces his son, breathing in his scent of coffee and cinnamon. He wonders what he smells like - cigarette smoke? Gunpowder? - and crushes the boy to him, wishing he could hold him close like this and never let go.

"I miss her so much," Nico gasps against his chest, his son, his boy.

He realises he's crying, too.

"As do I,  _mio figlio prediletto."_

 

* * *

 

 

In some land far away, in Nico's dreams, Bianca di Angelo weeps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SLOW PROGRESS SO FAR  
> It actually means a lot to me that I'm drawing it out so much; how I'm practically screaming for them to just drop and kiss already. Fear for my sanity, smol beans.  
> Hmu on Instagram @smol_asiansatan or on Tumblr [ here.](http://theswiftone27.tumblr.com)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico takes a little trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bless @realjohanna for spamming my Instagram while I was updating this. I was sitting on my sorry ass and I had nothing better to do, so thank for the reminder ;)  
> I found the fanart on the Solangelo Community on Google Plus - yes, I know no one uses it, but it's gr8 and you should go show it some love. 
> 
> Here we go!

 

 

Nico is ever so aware of the all-too needy way he's glancing around the shopping complex, dark eyes wide and cheeks flushed in what Percy Jackson would have been surprised at - contrary to what a lot of people seemed to believe, he  _did_ blush and hated every second of it. He flushes darker at the thought, suddenly reminded of when he had a horribly inappropriate crush on Jackson himself - he'd been thirteen and Percy had had very green eyes, and _okay, maybe he had known at thirteen, and maybe Hades wasn't being a horrible father and a huge liar._

He huffS and tucks himself better into the fleece jacket he's wearing - it's hot as balls out here but he never feels complete without the jacket. Nico without his jacket is like Captain America without the serum - well, not a good comparison as Chris Evans was hot either way, but still - lost, nervous, and completely gone on Sergeant Barnes. 

_Oh, wait, that's just him._

"Hey!" Someone says nearby, and he jumps, but it's a pair of teenage girls running into each other's arms. They're grinning and one's mascara is running for some reason, but they aren't what Nico is here for. 

It's Saturday, and by God, Nico should be at home and binging Hannibal but for some reason he's here.

Well, for a particular reason.

The fast food restaurant nearby blinks innocently at him. It's almost mocking his inability to approach it.

Nico hates fast food, not just because it's greasy and fattening and all that - though that does play a major factor in his hatred of it - but also because it used to be the only food he could get, Bianca and him, orphans with no source of income for themselves but the envelope that showed up on their doorstep every once so often. The lady they lived with would give them twenty dollars each for a meal, and they had no other, better options. He thinks about the crumpled wrappers in the bin a lot, thinks about those days more than he can help. But those days are gone and so is Bianca, and that thought is what pushes him to start towards the restaurant.

He slides into the busy place and there's noise everywhere, already pissing him off - misophonia is a bitch but Nico is its bitch - people chattering over lunches and children running around, screaming their heads off. He's never been that annoying when he'd been little...had he?

The cashier grins at him - or tries to, considering there's a hat in the shape of a burger flopping off her head - in what can be taken as a friendly way, but her eyes scream  _help me._ 'Hi, welcome to Apollo's, how can we brighten up your day today?'

'Please don't tell me that was a pun.'

She laughs, high-pitched, and breaks off abruptly, as if suddenly aware that Nico's standing there. 'Sorry,' She says, but her grin looks much more real, and Nico can't help but smile in return. 'Not my idea - not any of ours, really. What can I get you?' She's in a way sort of pretty, if Nico had swung that way, red hair streaked with green and a huge smile that lights up her entire countenance.

'I want the, ah - fuck, that's a reference, too - the Hyacinth set.' 

Nico wishes he weren't smiling as hard as he is. The myth of Hyacinth and Apollo has always been one of his favourites, and for good reason, too (gay gay gay gay gay Apollo is gay - well, bi, if you're being accurate, but still). And he's still trying to recover from that god-awful pun. God-awful, he thinks. Absolutely horrendous.

She flashes him a quick grin.

'Great. Please wait for your food at the next till. It's made with tons of love - and pre-pubescent tears, but don't tell the inspection department - I promise, it'll feel like you have sunshine in your tummy.'

Nico groans again. She winks at him.

'Not my idea, either. Austin! Another Hyacinth!' She turns and hollers, and a male voice muffled by the walls between them yells back.

Nico moves to the side, plugs in his earphones, and starts playing his Spotify playlist. It's a while before the redhead pushes a tray in his direction and nods the next person on, and Nico's starving.

He smiles at her briefly before lifting the tray and sliding into a vacant seat at a table nearby, one of the only not occupied by a family with a screaming kid. 

So this is where Will works.

He unwraps the burger, and sinks his teeth into it. The explosion of flavour catches him off guard; he chokes and has to take a long draft of his strawberry shake to recover from it. When he does, he glances at the overglorified patty between two pieces of bread and several slices of cheese incredulously. 

_Holy fuck._

It's good. And Nico is ashamed that he feels guilt at the thought, because he shouldn't be - because most fast food joints as crowded as this one serve shit food and he knows it. But this is actually good: the meat isn't the grease-packed plastic he thought it would be and the cheese actually tastes like cheese. Ten ten. Well, maybe not ten, but a solid seven, for fast food. It's not shit, he'd write in a review. I was expecting to be underwhelmed. Gold star for surprising me.

He shoots another look at the counter and the girl waves at him. She's smiling, leaning against the counter and tapping her fingers idly against it. 

His phone buzzes and he jumps, dropping the burger.

 

* * *

 

 

12:31  
I'm so booored

 **12:32  
** **Shouldn't you be working today?**

12:33  
It's my offday, love

12:34  
I'm touched that you're concerned.

**12:35  
Don't flatter yourself, love.**

12:36  
So you're not concerned? ;-;

 **12:38  
** **Shush with your stupoid pity-fishing emoticons**

**12:39  
stupid***

12:41  
STUPOID STUPOID STUPOID

**12:42  
Oh, boy.**

**12:43  
How old are you again?**

12:44  
I dunno, I'll have to check.

12:45  
My dad says three. How're you doing?

**12:46  
Good. Just grabbing lunch.**

12:47  
I want.

12:48  
Is it good?

**12:49  
Better than I anticipated.**

12:50  
Everyone's a critic.

12:51  
I'm boooored, Neeks

**12:52  
Can't do anything about that, can I?**

12:53  
I'm envisioning a world where

12:54  
you aren't such a dick.

 **12:55  
** **The horror of such a suggestion.**

12:56  
I suppose you wouldn't be Nico.

**12:57  
Ofc not, you twat.**

12:58  
Hnn. Gotta go, my cousin is texting me about something.

**12:59  
Bye, Will.**

13:01  
Bye, sweetheart.

 

* * *

 

 

Kayla watches the dark-haired man disappear out the door, her lips curved into a small smile. Her fingers fly across the keys on her phone, typing the words she can't bring herself to say.

_Found him._

 

* * *

 

 

Nico's going to the fast food restaurant almost every other weekend now. He settles into the chair and picks at his fries - fried potato crisps drizzled over by hot cheese, mayonnaise, kale and a healthy (probably not) sprinkling of pepper and salt. The African-American kid at the counter shoots him a few funny looks when he catches Nico staring at his food, but besides that, there aren't that many customers today, and Nico is appreciative of that.

_When are you going to get the balls to ask him out?_

When hell freezes over, probably.

Hazel has stopped asking where he's going and always fixates him with a smile when she sees him putting on what she calls his "action sneakers". They're black with rainbow laces, and Nico only wears them when he's trying to piss a homophobe off or when he's trying to give himself confidence - but no one's supposed to know about that and he never will tell. He tucks them more securely under his chair and swallows a mouthful of potato. A wave of Troye Sivan drowns his thoughts, and he focuses on the music instead, closing his eyes.

What is he doing, here?

He suddenly feels oh so very lonely. Percy and Annabeth are off preparing for their soon-to-arrive daughter - well, not soon, but the way Percy's calling every other hour to ask Nico's opinions on drapes for the nursery, it might just as well be - Jason, Piper and Leo are engaging in their best friend activities for the weekend, and Hazel is...well, Hazel made him swear not to mention a word of it to their father, and Nico's not an idiot, but Hazel is on another date with Frank, and she seems to be doing well. So is he. 

Goddamn, when did he become such a sad piece of shit?

He sighs and pulls up the iFlix app; if he's here for nothing he might as well be doing something. 

It's at this exact bloody moment that the ringtone he set for "Insomniac Dildo" starts ringing.

He has the best luck.

 

* * *

 

 

Will's waiting outside, in his cap and with his heart hammering against his ribcage, and when Nico half-runs, half-stumbles to him, he feels his face light up with a grin that shouldn't be this bright considering there are people around them who have stopped to stare. He makes a little noise in his throat and throws his arms around Nico and when the boy flinches, he nearly makes a run for it -  _fuck fuck fuck did I do something wrong -_ but Nico hugs back, even burrowing into Will's shoulder. 

_Oh my god this is real this is happening he's touching me_

They stay there for a while, numb, and Will can feel his cheeks heating up. He wonders what Nico's thinking, and shifts a hand from the smaller boy's back to his mouth, covering it so people don't quite see the raw emotion in his face - not as well as they'd like to, anyway. Nico makes a little sniffle sound and shifts closer, trapping Will in a position he's not at all discomforted by.

It's when someone from the side yells "fags" that Will feels Nico literally jerk upright, and it's with a mixture of admiration and complete, utter intimidation that he watches Nico's head snap to the side and his dark eyes fixate on the unfortunate redneck who said such a thing. 

"You want to fucking go, mate?"

A darkness hovers about Nico's tone, something deep-set, and Will can tell the guy's trodden on sensitive ground - not surprising considering he literally only some time ago broke a fella's nose for using the exact same word. There's a ripple in the crowd: people who had stopped suddenly become very interested in walking again, and the guy flushes deep red, looks like he's about to say something in return, but his friend - an embarrassed looking brunette with pink highlights - yanks him on his way, and he settles for a middle finger and a cross look.

Which Will returns, of course.

Nico's breathing heavily. He looks a bit like a wild animal, this way, pupils dilated, face almost ghostly pale - which worries Will, because he's seen Nico blush before and that is not a healthy colour in comparison. 

"Not a very good first meeting, future husband," He suddenly says, turning, and it hits Will how much he was waiting for this moment.

He laughs, and it's much too high. It sounds like he's attempting a falsetto, in fact.

"I was going to leave you for Mrs O'Leary."

"Say that to my face," Nico says seriously, and suddenly his face contorts and he starts laughing so hard that Will begins to crack up, too. The blond grabs onto the sleeve of Nico's jacket - amused at the look that's shot his way when he does - and pulls him into a secluded area instead, to avoid the stares of passers-by.

"Holy shit, Nico, you're drop-dead gorgeous."

Somehow what Will'd seen through his shitty laptop screen couldn't come close to rivalling the utter beauty of the deity standing in front of him now, frowning and putting his hands into his pockets. Nico was right: he is small (smol), but he's shapely; he has _hips_ and he looks built around the shoulders for a person of his height. He's got huge dark eyes and his skin colour, normally clammy, is flushed out with a pinkness that Will feels strangely proud of, and his lips are the pinkest pink...ever. He's got on a black fleece jacket and a rainbow bracelet encircles his wrist, and his sneakers are completely black except for where the laces are bright with colours of the rainbow.

"Done staring, you ass?"

"Not nearly," Will taps Nico's nose, and grins when the boy's eyes turn wide and it twitches in return, like a rabbit's. "Oh, you're adorable."

"Shut up."

_Mother of God, he does have a blushing voice and it's the most adorable thing and I cannot right now_

"Kayla says you've been coming for a few weeks now," Will tries to accuse instead, brushing away the thoughts (he doesn't need right now). He thought Nico would snap, but the smaller boy just  _flushes a deeper shade of red_ and mumbles something under his breath. "No, I cannot believe you right now, you tried to avoid me but you went out of your way to come here? You're ridiculous; you're a ridiculous person."

Nico opens his mouth, and shuts it. 

"Well? Aren't you gonna say anything?"

He shakes his head, and Will hates him. He hates that he doesn't hate him, not a bit, not even a little, not at all. It's killing him.

"I wasn't avoiding you, stupid," He finally says, folding his tiny arms. Will feels the sudden urge to wrap his arms around him, and horrified, quickly suppresses it with a pinch. "I just wanted to scope out where you...worked. OK, that's not what - I didn't -"

It's starting to dawn on Will, little realisations that make his heart flutter.

"You wanted to -"

"No, shut up."

"Aww, I -"

"No, no, no, shut up," Nico covers his face with his hands and Will can't help it; he's scooping him into his arms and he doesn't give two shits about who's looking. Nico makes a little squeak as he's lifted off the ground, and Will marvels at how remarkably light he is - at least in comparison with some of the people he's lifted in the past. "Will, don't -" He swallows and sinks into the embrace, which makes Will in turn feel like his insides are melting.

_Sweet Lord, every god that's watching right now, you'd better not let me drop him or I swear to absolute hell, I will find every religion and its rules out there and I will break every single one of them._

"You smell like mint."

"That's my shampoo."

"Oh."

Will laughs and Nico squirms in his grip, shifting so the taller boy's got a better grip on his hips. "I swear to God, if you drop me -"

"I know, I'll die."

"Not by me; Jason will make it his personal mission to -"

He breaks off - Kayla's at the door, and she's got a playful smile hovering on her lips. "Are we romancing on the job, Will Solace?" She snipes, grinning. Will makes a soft grunt and very gracefully deposits one Nico back on the ground, where it sits for a while and glares at him with an expression that reads  _how could you._

"My day off, manager."

"Day off my ass," Austin pokes his head out, and it's so worth it to see the outraged expression appear on Kayla's face.

"Get back in the kitchen, you complete dunce, who's manning the -" She stops, and Austin grins. "Oh, oh, no."

"Don't tell me."

 _"Dad,"_ She groans, and runs back indoors, calling after, "Will Solace, you'd better get your a  - butt in here, or I'll kick it for you!"

Austin winks at them and disappears as well. "Duty calls, soldier. And you must be Nico; I've heard an awful lot about you." Nico looks like he's about to murder someone, but he smiles at Austin - or tries to, and it's a painful effort.

"Guess you have to go back inside."

"Are you coming with?"

_That's all I really care about, you know._

His eyes skate over Will's face thoughtfully, and he shakes his head. "I've got to get back. Hazel will get suspicious, and believe me, you don't want my father breathing down your neck."

"I think it'll be the other way 'round," Will replies, thinking of what he knows of Nico's father. He's rewarded with a soft smile.

"Sure, Sunshine. I've got to go."

"Come back sometime."

Hesitation.

 _"Please_ come back, sometime. Or at least call me." He's crossing his fingers here, making a stupid decision. Nico seems to ponder the invitation, and Will can physically feel his heart lift when he finally responds: he nods, once. It might be curt, almost uniform, but it's progress, and Will is all for progress. "Okay. Now give me a goodbye hug, you idiot."

"Do I have to - oof."

Nico smells like coffee beans and cinnamon, like spices that can't be tamed and like what insomnia feels like to Will - addictive, inescapable, complex and yet so simple in his fragrance. Will buries his nose in his dark, cherub wing-like locks of hair, and mumbles a goodbye that's lost in the thick curls. He figures he really shouldn't do this, him being a sort of stranger an' all, but he figures he also shouldn't care.

"Bye."

"Bye, Nico."

And Will's lying if he said he didn't watch Nico walk till his form disappeared out of his line of vision, lost in the crowds of people in the shopping complex. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually created a playlist called "Nico di Angelo" on Spotify, and will be updating it often. Oops.  
> (It's so late here RIP forgive me if there are any inconsistencies slash mistakes in here because I'm so v tired oops)
> 
> Hmu on Instagram @smol_asiansatan or on Tumblr [ here.](http://theswiftone27.tumblr.com)


	16. I AM SO, SO SORRY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead. I am very exhausted though. RIP me.
> 
> HANNIBAL AND WILL GO SHOPPING - wait, wrong Will, wrong fandom. I'm sorry, I'm still recovering from post-WSC chaos. NICO AND WILL GO SHOPPING. 
> 
> (sort of)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have finished reading The Song Of Achilles and I am no longer capable of feeling anything ever again. Any of you'd like the PDF, hit me up. I'm going to go and cry some more, now. Have fun with the new chapter.
> 
> I'M BACK FROM WSC. AND ANOTHER BOOT CAMP. I'M SO SO SO SORRY.
> 
> Boot camp was a beautiful horrendous mess that has me now completely sore all over - I didn't think anything could be worse than drill camp, but boot camp was. It was excruciatingly painful and I am grateful for that because without it I do not think I would be half as sorry as I am for neglecting this fic.
> 
> I CAN'T GET POKEMON GO YET. I'M IN TEAM MYSTIC IF ANYONE WANTS TO KNOW. SCREW MALAYSIA AND NINTENDO BOTH.
> 
> ALSO. WHEN I WAS UPDATING IT, THE SERVERS WERE DOWN. SO I APOLOGISE FOR THAT DELAY AS WELL. I STILL LOVE Y'ALL.

**09:03  
I am here.**

**09:04  
Well, time to play the waiting game.**

**09:05  
C'mon. Answer.**

**09:10  
Are you serious right now?**

**09:12  
Oh my god. Will.**

**09:12  
Will.**

**09:12  
Will.**

**09:13  
Wiiiiilllllll.**

**09:14  
DICKHEAD.**

**09:15  
JESUS CHRIST, WHERE ARE YOU**

09:20  
Shit.

**09:21  
Hi there, early worm.**

09:22  
i forgOT about 

09:24  
hold on i'll be there i a bit

09:35  
in***

**09:36  
It's fine. I got all of it done already.**

**09:37  
Need me to get anything for you?**

09:38  
oh, god, i'm sos orry, nico

09:39  
actually, yeah, i need some groceries. 'm running low

**09:40  
name 'em. I'll drop them off at yours later.**

09:41  
Christ, you're mad at me. OK. OK. I'm up.

**09:42  
You weren't before???**

09:44  
i am so so sorry

09:45  
i had a shift till real late last night

**09:46  
It's fine. What do you need?**

09:47  
Now I feel terrible.

09:48  
Uh, some milk.

**09:50  
Brand?**

**09:51  
Look, here's one that says "Dickhead".**

09:52  
i am sorry again

**09:53  
Just tell me what brand.**

09:54  
anything. anything works. 

**09:55  
Low fat?**

09:56  
do you hate me

**09:57  
No, you're hot.**

**09:58  
I only mildly despise you.**

10:01  
I'm hot?

**10:02  
You would only type in proper punctuation for that?**

10:03  
I'm flattered.

**10:05  
You're still an asshole.**

**10:06  
Anything else?**

10:08  
Bread. 

10:09  
HOLD ON YOU'RE TRYING TO CHANGE THE TOPIC HERE

10:10  
YOU SMARTASS

**10:11  
I want to get you the whole-wheat kind.**

10:12  
Why do you hate me, Neeks

**10:13  
We said we were going to go grocery shopping! I can't carry all of this shit myself.**

10:15  
We're practically married, already.

10:16  
I'm dressed. Should I come anyway?

10:17  
It's a fifteen minute drive.

**10:18  
It's fine.**

**10:19  
Okay, so bread, milk, anything else?**

10:20  
um

10:21  
cat food.

**10:22  
Cat what**

**10:23  
you have a cat???**

10:24  
maybe

**10:25  
omg**

**10:26  
Will, what the fuck. You never told me?**

10:27  
It's a recent thing! I'll explain it soon.

10:28  
Also, I didn't think you'd like cats.

**10:29  
I'm allergic to cat fur.**

10:30  
See?

**10:31  
I want a fuzzy animal. I could die for all I care but I want to die hugging a fuzzy animal.**

10:33  
You're so precious.

**10:34  
Shut up. What kind of cat food?**

**10:35  
I still can't believe you didn't update me on the cat.**

10:36  
Like kitten food.

10:37  
idk

10:38  
just get anything.

**10:39  
It's a kitten???? ?**

**10:41  
a fuzzy wuzzy kitty cat??**

10:43  
yes

10:44  
please hurry, we've run out and hannibal keeps scratching at my feetsies

**10:45  
You named it Hannibal**

**10:46  
I love you**

**10:47  
YOU NAMED THE KITTY AFTER A CANNIBAL**

10:48  
As in, you know, Hannibal and Will? 

10:49  
Thank god you get it.

10:50  
i keep getting things like "oh hannibal was such a good general" no i'm referring to the sociopath who eats people

**10:52  
oh, no, I loved Red Dragon. And the movies. And the TV show.**

**10:53  
I'M NOT OBSESSIVE SHUT UP**

**10:53  
I've got the kitten food**

**10:54  
Nothing else? I'm going to go check these out.**

10:55  
no, thanks.

**10:56  
I'll. Send these over?**

10:57  
You don't need an excuse to pay me a visit, Nico. ;)

**10:58  
凸**

 

* * *

  

"Hi, best friend." 

Will's grinning as he hangs off of the door, and Nico wishes he didn't look half as hot, blond hair disheveled as if he'd just rolled out of bed - which he had, the fucker - and eyes sparkling. His definition of "dressed" is a baggy polo tee that hangs over a pair of barely decent brown shorts. He still looks hot, which annoys Nico - just the slightest bit.

"Hi, asshole."

"C'mere."

Nico goes limp when Will scoops him into a bear-hug. It's rib-crushing, but he dangles, tentatively dragging an arm over Will's back. It should feel weird, awkward, maybe, but it doesn't. He steps back when Will lets go and hefts the grocery bags into view. 

"Milk, bread and cat food."

"You're a life-saver." Will rummages in his pockets and brings out a wallet, its colour peeling. "How much? I mean the entire receipt, not just the items I got."

"The hell do you need to know that for?"

Nico hands over the receipt and folds his arms. Trying to disguise the tension in his shoulders because of how close, how real, Will is. He's not just a name, a word flashing by his phone screen anymore. This is the real Will, witty, a hell of a charmer, and handsome as all fuck. Self-consciously, he tugs at what he's wearing; he's not dressed for a visit, flip-flops and jean cutoffs and a bland shirt that screams "boring". He didn't even brush his hair this morning, he'd been rushing to meet Will.

"I figured I'd pay for your shit. As, you know, compensation."

"Compensation," Nico repeats.

"I bailed on you, remember? Hey, you okay?"

He blinks and Will's staring. A flush rises to both his cheeks and he ducks his head in a half nod, half - half whatever the hell he's trying to accomplish. "Yeah. Yeah, sorry, um."

"Come in for a bit. My roommates are out." Will grins, as if he's amused by how strange Nico is acting - not that he has much to compare this behaviour with, does he? - and nudges open the door.

Tentatively, Nico kicks off his flip-flops and follows Will into the apartment. He glances once at the elevator a few steps away, knowing that if he wanted to, he could still make  a break for it. There's a tight feeling in his stomach - he just might be sick.

He doesn't run.

The minute he steps into the apartment, something orange attacks his foot. Something with  _teeth._

"Whoa, what the -"

"Hannibal, no!" Will bends over and scoops up the little ball of orange - Nico now can make out its tiny, fuzzy face, spreading over it wispy white whiskers. It makes a little mewling sound, as if protesting at being picked up. "Sorry, he's a fighter. He doesn't bite, though. Just butts his head against people a lot."

Nico realises he's staring more at Will than the ball of fluff in his arms, and blushes again.

"I wasn't scared he would bite."  _He has teeth._

"I know." A smile.

Will cradles Hannibal to his chest and the kitten stares at Nico with petulant green eyes. It's a tabby, small whiskered face and pink nose, and if it weren't for the fact that Nico was allergic he'd be all over that gosh darn adorable little thing. (His secret weakness is baby animals, especially ducks, but don't tell anyone.)

"You want to hold him?"

"I, uh -" Nico steps back, and realisation dawns on Will's face.

"Right, shit, sorry. Um, make yourself at home. I'll get you something to drink...tea? Coffee?"

"Water's fine." He just grabbed a coffee at home. Couldn't start a day without one.

Nico watches as Will puts down Hannibal and turns into what he supposes is the kitchen. It's a titchy cramp of a living space, Will's apartment, cluttered with furniture and odds and ends that don't make any sense - a crude looking vase with no flowers, a few empty boxes and a basket stuffed with blankets that judging by the state of those blankets, must be Hannibal's sleeping space. The kitten in question is now romping about with a sort of youthful energy, quiet and quick.

_Okay. I'm in his house. Watching his cat run around sniffin' things. Calm down._

He takes out his phone and reads his text messages - there's a new reaction GIF from Hazel: Frank's taught her how to send and use them, a few dozen messages between Percy and Jason in the group chat arguing over Arya Stark. His fingers dart across the screen, type and delete and retype, but he can't bring himself to say anything. It feels strange, somehow, texting someone other than Will. And that sounds stupid, but right now he feels stupid.

"Water's here," Will announces, and Nico looks up.

"Oh, um, thanks." He takes the glass uncertainly. Will's fingers are curled around a mug of what smells like cocoa, and he's taking small drafts of it - it must be warm. He notices Nico's stare and smiles, albeit tentatively.

"I'm sorry for bailing."

"You've already been forgiven."

The smile that appears on Will's face is worth the extra weight he had to carry to the car. "Awesome. That's...that's awesome. I'm glad."

Hannibal emits a loud yowling sound, and both Nico and Will turn to him. He's standing, expectant, at an empty bowl Nico hadn't noticed before. Will slaps a hand to his forehead - ow - and stands hurriedly, leaving his cocoa behind as he rushes back into the tiny kitchen. Mystified, Nico sets his glass down and follows, to find Will opening cans of cat food; Nico got both the dry and wet variety, he didn't know which to pick.

"What's wrong?"

"He's hungry. I'm such an idiot." Will laughs, hands working faster than a pre-pubescent kid's in front of pornography - and wow, that was a weird thought. Nico flushes deep red and it takes a while for him to recover. When he finally does, Will has gotten the food all set out.

"Can he eat solid food?"

"He eats a mixture of it. His teeth are growing stronger, I think." Will sets the bowl down and Hannibal - not unlike his fellow feline predators - pounces onto it. He devours the whole of the bowl in a matter of minutes. They both look on, entertained by his antics. When he's done, he falls back onto his haunches and starts licking himself.

"He has nothing in common with the real Hannibal Lecter when it comes to table manners," Nico notes, thinking of pristine Hannibal Lecter - well, the Madds Mikkelsen one, anyway - and how gracefully his hands glided over the food he prepared.

"That's the thing. I should have named him something like...I don't know, Jack the Ripper."

Hannibal lifts his head and lets out a very loud meow. He's evidently unimpressed.

The silence is broken when Nico's phone starts ringing. 

"Shit, give me a moment," He excuses himself, stepping away. He feels Will's eyes on his back as he inches further into the apartment, stepping over boxes of odds and ends - for some reason they remind him of the poem  _Ode To Broken Things_ by Pablo Neruda - and answers the call: he knows it's Hazel, he set a custom ringtone for her especially. "Hey, sis, what's up?"

"Nico, you were supposed to be here like fifteen minutes ago, where are you?"

"Wait, what?"

Nico mentally rakes through his memories - had he made any plans for today? Goddamn, he was awful at time management, wasn't he? "Here as in...where? Because I don't think I agreed to anything today..."

"It's Dad's  _birthday,"_ Hazel says impatiently, and Nico has to knock himself in the head for that. He went out and bought the man a tie only a few weeks before - fathers are the easiest to shop for, he gathers, or at least his is - especially for this occasion. He'd forgotten how he was supposed to show up early to the lunch to help prepare (Hazel insisted he would find something to do, even while being a complete and utter mess in the kitchen.)

 _"Shi -_ I'm sorry," He corrects himself just in time. "I'll be there in a bit - give me five, ten minutes. I'm at a friend's."

Will is on the ground when he rushes back, Hannibal rolling around in his lap. It's such an adorable sight that it frankly throws Nico off for a few moments.Then he remembers the phone-call and bristles.

"I gotta go...my dad's birthday, and I'm helping. Or something."

"The same dad that you told me about?"

Nico winces. "Yeah...he's not as bad. Anymore. It's fine, now." 

"Okay." Will stands, goes to open the door. "Thank you for the groceries. And...uh, sorry again. For standing you up."

"It's fine. It's not a date, not yet, anyway -"

_what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck did I just say_

A big grin spills over Will's face, making the embarrassment so much more worth it. The blond leans in, close enough

(to kiss him)

for Nico to feel his breath ghost by his lips, and the latter panics. As in, full on panics. He grabs Will's shirt as if to shove him away, but ends up just standing there, a fistful of polo and a full view of the surprise spreading over Will's face. Burning deep red. Wanting to burrow into the ground. He lets go and tries to turn away - run, run, little rabbit - but Will's faster, and he catches him first. Strong fingers curl around his wrists, pulling him back.

"Nico -"

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry," Nico spills, unsteady on his own two feet. "I thought you were, um, I thought - I'm sorry I gotta go I'm -"

Will kisses him.

Will. Kisses. Him.

Will tugs him in closer and yanks on his shirt for good measure, and then he shoves his face into Nico's and oh my god this is not happening he can't process it what the hell what the hell oh my god his heart must be smashing through his rib cage right now and all he can think of is Will and Will's soft smile behind his lips and Will's teeth when they awkwardly collided for the first time and the fingers carding through his hair and oh my god Will

Nico stumbles and they both go sprawling into a heap, eyes wide, lips pink and swollen, hair dishevelled. Hannibal mewls somewhere in the background, and Nico dimly takes that as his cue to leave.

He scrambles up, forgetting his groceries entirely, and bolts for the elevator.

 

* * *

 

11:45  
FUCK ME

_**11:47  
Prefer not to, thank you very much.** _

11:48  
FUCK YOU CECIL I DON'T NEED YOUR SASS RIGHT NOW

11:49  
I KISSED HIM

_**11:51  
IS "HIM" NICO?** _

_**11:53  
YOU KISSED NICO???** _

_**11:54  
omg** _

_**11:55  
Is this the guy Will Solace goes full bi for** _

_**11:56  
More like he transcends all concepts of sexuality for.** _

11:58  
GUYS I'M NOT OKAY

11:59  
I THINK I WAS SHIT

_**12:01  
What the heck did you do?** _

_**12:02  
Oh my god, you didn't shove your tongue in his mouth like you did with that one guy from sixth grade, did you?** _

_**12:03  
I REMEMBER THAT OMG** _

12:04  
THERE WAS NO TONGUE!!

12:05  
HE RAN AWAY AFTER I FEEL HORRIBLE WHAT DID I DO

_**12:06  
The first step is to calm down. ** _

_**12:08  
Wait, he ran away?** _

12:09  
yES

_**12:11  
Yike.** _

_**12:12  
So there was no tongue.** _

12:13  
CECIL I WILL SHOVE ALL TONGUES UP YOUR ASS

_**12:14  
I'm not into rimming, thanks.** _

_**12:15  
I'm in a group chat of idiots.** _

_**12:16  
Go slow. Start from the beginning.** _

_**12:17  
That's what she said ;)** _

**[Trash Meme King was removed from the group, 12:18]**

_**12:20  
Now we can talk properly.** _

12:21  
Okay. He was gonna leave.

12:22  
Then I kind of...jumped him.

_**12:23  
You jumped him?** _

12:24  
I FEEL HORRIBLE I RUINED IT I RUINED US

**[Trash Meme King was added to the group by Blond Disaster Who Can(not) Dance, 12:25]**

_**12:26  
I'm back, bitches** _

**[Trash Meme King was removed from the group, 12:27]**

12:28  
I'LL ADD YOU BACK WHEN WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE

12:29  
So yes, that's about it.

_**12:30  
Did he try to push you away or anything?** _

12:31  
no but

12:33  
he ran

12:34  
??

_**12:36  
Remember the time I French-kissed Miranda Gardiner because I was drunk and I was dared to?** _

12:38  
I may or may not have pictures.

_**12:39  
Delete them immediately.** _

_**12:41  
aaanyway.** _

_**12:42  
We went back to being friends after that. I mean, it was awkward af at first, but** _

_**12:43  
We were cool. Capiche?** _

12:44  
Capiche.

**_12:45  
It's going to be okay, idiot._ **

**_12:46  
Now add the other idiot back in._ **

**[Trash Meme King was added to the group by Blond Disaster Who Can(not) Dance, 12:49]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA  
> TILL THE NEXT CHAPTER
> 
>  
> 
> so maybe go check out my IG? and my Tumblr? i can't even link them right now.  
> @smol_asiansatan  
> Theswiftone27  
> go wild
> 
> till the next chapter, loves.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I NEGLECTED Y'ALL AGAIN I'M SO SORRY I STILL LOVE YOU
> 
> School is absolutely. Over. Bearing. Yike. I'm v v sorry; I love you all, here's the new chapter.

Nico looks up from his phone, fixates his eyes on the wall opposite his desk and tries to gather his thoughts into a coherent...well,  _something._

He feels like a massive dick.

It's been a week since the kiss, since he panicked and ran because the empty space in his mind, the white noise, became unbearable. He knows he should've called, waited for Will to pick up, stuttered something akin to apology. In the very least dropped a "hey, how you doing" so Will didn't think he'd dropped dead on the dash home. He hasn't. Rather, he's picked up his phone once ever five minutes, opened the chat logs, typed full blown  _letters_ in the text box, and then deleted them. He doesn't know why he's avoiding Will. He doesn't know why he can't, suddenly can't even bear to look at his other messages anymore. There are thirty-four from Hazel, ten from the group chat with Percy and Jason, several from Hazel's new boyfriend - the kid seems eager to get into his good books - but he's ignored them all.

He brings himself to turn off the phone again, and watches as the light dies from it, is replaced by the reflection of a sad, stupid face.

_He kissed me._

Even now, it feels surreal. Even now, his cheeks ache with the heat, there's something too tight in his chest, so taut it hurts. If he closes his eyes he might still feel Will's lips brushing by his own. Will's teeth clacking into his, then hurriedly drawing back. Nico's kissed boys before, a few girls, but none of them have ever felt like  _this._

He huffs out a half-groan and drags his fingers through his hair distractedly. 

_talk to him_

_message_

_call?_

_no he'll hate me_

_he'll ask_

_"why did you run?"_

_"i regretted it"_

"Shut up shut up shut  _up,"_ He buries his head in his hands. His phone on the table buzzes: it's Hazel, again, probably asking him to stop moping around in his room. Half of him suspects she knows more or less what happened; the glow of his cheeks and the flustered way he arrived the other day wasn't exactly subtle. Still, he wishes she would leave him alone. She means well. She always does. But Nico doesn't need that right now, the emotional support. He gets along well enough on his own crutches: having another person's would tip him off balance.

"I'm like a fuckin' teenage girl," He says into empty space. The words fizzle and pop into nothingness. "Freaking out over some  _boy."_

_Some boy._

Will was much more than  _some boy,_ wasn't he?

(blond hair and blue eyes and a smile that makes something in me snap)

"Nico." Persephone's voice. Gentle rapping at the door. "Your sister wants you to join us for lunch."

He goes silent. He doesn't think he can bear one more day of his father probing at him about this mysterious new boyfriend, Persephone trying much too hard to disguise the mirth spreading over her face, and Hazel urging him to answer the questions. Answer the questions about Will, the fabricated boyfriend she created for Nico out of pity, or perhaps even to save him from further discomfort...but it's worse, now, than having to say "I'm single" and be asked why like he used to. Even thinking about Will makes his brain hurt.

It only takes a few seconds to make a decision. He crosses the room, grabs his jacket and shrugs it on as best as he can. 

"Nico?"

His phone buzzes, again. He grabs it, shoves it into the back pocket of his jeans, and pushes open the window. Guiltily, he looks back at the locked door, its handle rattling: it isn't the first time he's disappeared like this, nor will it be the last. Thank providence for ladders conveniently placed outside high windows. The fall down would probably break a few bones, but he wouldn't die. It'd take more than a fall to get rid of a di Angelo, Hades had once noted darkly when person in question had been pushed into a freezing-cold lake during a vacation in Alaska (Nico had apologised.)

As it is, Nico easily drops down onto the ground and starts scaling the fence. Ten minutes later, he's walking down the streets of Manhattan, watching as hot dog vendors pass him by. 

(He gets several angry text messages, Hazel's punctuated by little emojis Nico wishes Frank hadn't taught her how to use.)

 

* * *

 

21:00  
Hey.

21:02  
Neeks

21:05  
Um

[Missed Call From Insomniac Dildo]

 

09:02  
Hi.

09:04  
You could answer me, you know.

09:05  
All of these say "read".

09:10  
Was I too forward? I'm sorry.

09:12  
Don't ignore me, please.

09:13  
look

09:14  
You're one of the best friends I've had in ages.

[Missed Call From Insomniac Dildo]

09:17  
Call me.

09:18  
Or message.

09:20  
Heck, you didn't drop dead, did you?

09:21  
I just...I'm sorry.

[Insomniac Dildo sent a voice message. Listen?]

09:25  
I wouldn't blame you if you cut me off.

09:26  
Your stuff's still at mine. At least come over to take it back.

 

* * *

 

_it's just a fucking kiss it probably didn't mean anything why did I freak out goddammit Nico_

He drums his fingers nervously against his thighs as he stands a few hesitant feet away from the elevator to Will's apartment. This is stupid, he thinks, and another part of him hisses at that part to shut the hell up, it doesn't know jack-shit anyway. The voices in his head start rising into something unbearable. He cuts them off with a sharp intake of breath, and the oxygen makes him feel giddy. Goes straight to the brain. Jesus, he can't do anything right.

 _Listen. I'm sorry,_ the voice message had said.  _I probably should have...I figured, cos you were...look. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing. It doesn't have to mean anything, okay? Let's go back to being friends. I'm so sorry. Please answer me. I really, really like you. Don't...don't cut me off, too._

Nico breathes in. And out. In. Out. 

Breathing.

Living.

He's alive yet, isn't he?

His finger barely brushes the button to the elevator when the doors slide open and a very unfortunately familiar blond figure steps out, the scent of mint shampoo coming off of him as fresh as a daisy. Nico freezes, caught like a deer in headlights, every part of him numbing over. His mind is fuzzy. He can't open his mouth. Blood roars its battle cry in his ears. He thinks he might faint, he's so woozy. 

He steps away, nearly trips over his own feet.

_fuck_

Will just stares. Nico doesn't notice the way his eyes are red rimmed at first. Doesn't notice the unkeptness of his attire...shirt half tucked in and half not, flip-flops and floral patterned shorts, and hair barely brushed back at all. He notices the blue first, blue eyes of which pupils dilate the second they meet Nico's. He notices the slight tremble of pink lips before they're opening, and then Will's voice is crashing into Nico like waves onto the shore, and he can't notice anything.

"Well -"

"I was gonna come...apologise," Nico cuts in, immediately going red. Will's face is blank. He doesn't know what he's saying; his tongue is heavy. "I was a dick. I shouldn't have...ignored you. I'm sorry."

Will's lips almost, almost curl into a smile, but he catches them just in time. 

"I called. Texted. You read all of my texts. You couldn't even answer...one?"

It's not really angry, that's what makes it worse: the lack of reproach in his tone. It's just flat, like he doesn't even care anymore. Nico's heart gives a funny little throb and he wonders if this is what falling feels like. 

(falling and flying. what was that quote again?)

"I'm sorry," He repeats, but the words feel empty.

Will stares for a moment longer, as if unsure how to respond. Then the elevator starts beeping and he hurriedly steps out. The space between them narrows, and Nico doesn't know if that's better or worse. He can feel Will, the heat radiating off of him, emotion barely concealed behind a layer of indifference. 

_the scales have fallen from my eyes_

_i can see you now_

" - I'm sorry, too."

Will lowers his burning gaze to his feet, and it is almost like he sucker-punched Nico in the gut - which would have been a more adequate response, seeing as how Nico had been such a fucking dick.

Nico blinks. It feels like a slap in the face - "The fuck you have to apologise for?" - a mockery of everything he's done up to this point.

"I don't know. I guess I - I should have known better. I don't know what I was doing." Will's lips move, and Nico hears the words, but he doesn't know how to register them correctly. Everything about this screams wrong. He wanted that kiss. He enjoyed it. He, hell, he'd go for more. Will has nothing to apologise for, not that Nico was a lousy kisser, not that Nico is a dickhead who can't even bother to respond to texts, not that Nico ran away because he didn't know what to do next, how to response to the physical touch no one ever bothered to give. He opens his mouth, but Will is speaking again, and what he's saying is worse. "I mean, like I said. You're one of the best friends I have. I can't afford to lose that. Lose us."

"You fuckin' sap."

Will blinks, this time, then cracks a grin. "There we go. Asshole mode back on. All's fine in Neek Neek Land."

"I don't want - I don't want you to apologise." How the hell does he phrase it? _"I'd really goddamn like for us to snog more." "I actually ran away just because I'm a little shit who doesn't know how to respond to intimacy."_ This is stupid, he thinks, for the umpteenth time, and just charges on. "I didn't dislike it. The kiss."

_Jesus Christ._

_Jeeesus Christ._

He catches the surprise. Moments before something deeper sets in, relief, maybe, then what looks like even hope. A glimmer of optimism. "Wow, Nico," Will smiles, "Ever the romantic." Even as he says it, he almost blushes, which shouldn't be as adorable as it is. Nico fights back the urge to burst into fairy-like little giggles right then. He thinks he might be hysterical.

"Um."

_You did great, Nico. A plus for wordsmanship. You'd be an ace public speaker._

"Nico, do you..." Will breaks off. He looks like he's having a panic attack right then and there, and Nico instinctively surges forward. His hand finds the space between Will's neck and shoulder all too fast. Surprised blue eyes blink back down at him. (Will's tall.)

"Look -"

Nico's phone chooses that exact moment to buzz. Then buzz again. And again. Fucking chain messages: probably Jackson, who doesn't seem to understand that you don't need fifteen consecutive, one-word messages to prove a point. He pulls away, flushing fiercely. Will's eyes follow him, confused, a mingle of emotions in them.

"Look, I just really - I like you, okay." He doesn't know what he's saying anymore, but he stares at his shoes, hands in pockets, and says it anyway. "I don't know - I'm sorry because I'm a fucking idiot and I ran, but I just didn't know - I was - confused - and you don't have to fucking apologise for anything, I'm the asshole who ignored you for a week."

He glances up, sneaks a peek, and Will's grinning. And oh god this is overwhelming, the bubbling of words in his throat; he's never talked so fast in his entire life.

"Four days, actually."

"The point," Nico snaps, but breaks off to catch his breath before he dies of both nerves and stupid anxiety, "is that I was a dick, period. I am very, very sorry, and I - um, I'd like for us to continue being - whatever the hell we are."

There's a funny little smile in place of the grin now, a small curl. "Spouses?" He suggests, that cheeky little ass, and moves in closer. "Friends who crack dick jokes way too much?"

"There are literally no friends in the world who don't crack dick jokes way too much."

"Friends who occasionally snog one another?"

"One time," Nico insists, but his face is burning. (Maybe because of how Will is now less  _close to him_ and more  _literal personal space hogger the little shit.)_

"Friends, then."

He leans in. Nico tips his head upwards without even thinking about it.

It's less panicky than the last time, less rushed - less everything, really, except for how overwhelmed Nico is by all of it. The panic subsides, replaced by a deep-set calm, like a drowning man who stops thrashing and simply lets the water take him. He realises he's holding his breath way too long into it (he chokes and Will pulls away, startled, but almost immediately he's kissing him again.) There's no room for thought, no second guessing. It's the type of kiss that lingers, the curious sort, the first real exploration of each other's limits. 

Will pulls away first, and almost immediately Nico's knees weaken. He doesn't fall, but stumbles, as if Will is a succubus and drained every ounce of life out of him by just one kiss. He's still blushing: he can feel the red.

"Nico -"

"Um," That's the only word forming on his tongue right then, and he savours it, draws it out long and steady. 

"I gotta go to work. It's my, uh, shift, and I'm already ten minutes late." Somewhere in the back of his mind Nico actually registers what Will is saying. For now, however, he's dizzy from the euphoria. High on the aftertaste of Will's toothpaste. This is stupid. He's stupid. "But, um, you could come 'round later. It ends at, um -" Will struggles for a bit, evidently just as dazed (does he ever get dazed? is that a feat?) as Nico is, and then breaks out into a goofy grin. "You know what, I'll just text you."

"You do that."

 

* * *

 

 

13:44  
Ten minutes.

**13:45  
Should I go meet you?**

13:46  
yes, like my good wife. Welcome me home from work.

**13:47  
i hate you**

**13:49  
...**

**13:51  
Will**

**13:52  
What are we**

13:53  
wink wonk

13:54  
guess we'll find out.

 

* * *

 

 

It's "boyfriend" Nico uses, though, when a few days later Will shows up at his house and Hazel's smile seems to stretch from ear to ear. Hades looks like he's trying to smile but has forgotten how to, how taut his lips are. Persephone just coos over how gorgeous Will's hair is - don't flatter him, Nico thinks, he's got an ego that can touch the stars already. Will just puffs up like a proud peacock.

The only thing Nico is worrying about at this point is how Jackson and Grace will take the news without at least four puns, six dick jokes and a dozen innuendos to follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF IS NOT MY FORTE BUT I LOVE IT
> 
> I love you guys. You know that? I love you. Thank you so much for being here. Hugs and kisses. You're all adopted, now. I am your father.
> 
> YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA. Hmu anytime ;)))


	18. DID YOU THINK IT WAS DONE? HA. HA, YOU POOR SOUL. I'll never release you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NICO SNEZ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bless whoever has been following this fic from the very start.
> 
> Bless whoever just found it.
> 
> Bless all of you, really. 
> 
> *heart emoji*
> 
> Ye can find me @smol_asiansatan on Instagram or my Tumblr which I am again much, much too lazy to link to. It's in the previous chapters, blergh.

"What is this, a meet-the-parents?"

Percy and Jason grin in terrifying unison, Hazel does a funny little wave and Nico just flushes a deep red. 

Will stares at the group for a minute before sliding into the seat opposite Nico, an odd smile on his face, like he's entertained by Nico's pain. "Well, hello, Nico's friends," He says, shaking each of their hands - Nico's going to kill him. "I'm confused and terrified, but oddly okay with this."

"Hello confused and terrified," Percy and Jason chime in at the same time - and yep, Nico's going to kill all of them; fuck the lunch plans, he's going to stab them all 23 times and run away, change his name to Brutus and hide away in a mountain cave somewhere till he dies. "We're Nico's friends."

"I hate you. All of you."

"That's not a nice thing to say to your husband," Will says, frowning.

"Fuck you."

"I love you, too."

"You both are disgusting. Get a room." Percy pelts him with a napkin. Nico's sanity is a fine thread on which they are treading right now.

"You slurp up your wife's face on a regular basis. Shut."

"You both need to calm down, you're scaring him away." Hazel smiles at Will. Percy snickers, and that's the end of the line: Nico stalks towards the counter to order his food. In the background, he can hear Percy asking Jason if he looks fat in these jeans

_I don't know, man, define "fat". You're beautiful._

_Aw, thank you, Grace. You're gorgeous, too._

Will's laughing. Nico hears it and something twists in his gut, something horribly wonderful. 

"Sir?"

"Right, shit, sorry." Nico trips over his own words as he returns to reality and scans the menu for an agreeable option. Fast food is fast food, he despairs, but can he get one that doesn't put his horribly out of shape body to even more shame? It's not even that he's pudgy: he has been informed many times that he's as skinny as a stick. Balancing on other sticks. "Um, I'll get the...whatever Set Four is."

"Right away, sir," She looks amused, but the bored tone doesn't slip. A plus for service. Nico puts the money on the counter and moves to the waiting line. Someone taps him on the back.

"Hey. You okay?"

"I'm fine," He says. Will wraps his arms around his waist from behind and he stiffens a little, looking to see if they've caught anyone's attention. When no one even looks at them askance, he settles, letting Will bury his head in his tufts of black. "I'm...sorry."

"It's fine. I just thought you got a bit flustered, there."

"They're a little strange. I dunno if...well, I'm scared you won't like them." 

Will laughs through his hair and Nico realises he's one half of the couple that's always giving PDA. Oddly enough, this time, he doesn't really mind. He does shove Will off and settle for a peck on his freckled, sun-kissed cheek, however.

"I do like them," Will says in reply. "Heck, Neeks, you don't have to worry about a thing."

"Order up," The cashier returns. Her eyes drift interestedly over Will, who very politely ignores the once-over, and Nico darts forward to grab the tray. He's blushing, which shouldn't be happening. He's got to get used to people looking. Will is a very unconventionally attractive individual, after all. He utters a thanks and goes back to the table, nearly tripping over his own feet in the process.

"Neeks," Double-Trouble exclaim, and Grace scoots over so he can sit. He does, however, steal a curly fry from the tray, and Nico frowns at him.

"Curlies are prohibited."

"Except from the boyfriend," Will says easily, taking one. 

Nico glares at him in turn.

"Especially from the boyfriend. Who, need I remind, finished an entire pack last time when we went on a picnic."

Hazel laughs and sips from her ice lemon tea. Who actually orders ice lemon tea from a fast food joint, Nico doesn't know. Hazel, of course. He's surprised Frank didn't come: the big guy must still have been terrified of him. 

"He's studying," She says, seeming to read his mind. Will frowns at that.

"Someone I should be worried about?"

"Hazel's boyfriend," Nico says, but he's fond of the guy. Might as well be; he's dating his little sister, after all. "...and, I never took you for the jealous type."

"If you break his heart, we'll kill you," Jason threatens over the table. Nico flips him the bird. 

"Not planning on it." Will grins. "Now, onto a lighter topic, how many times have you ever heard the kitten-sneeze?"

"My God, I could go on forever." Percy clasps his hands over his chest and with a terrifying revelation, Nico realises what they're talking about. He kicks Will under the table, hard. The latter hollers in response and kicks back, catching Nico's legs with his feet. 

"We are not going to discuss my sneeze."

"It's adorable."

"You all are horrible. Hazel, help."

She shrugs. "To be fair, it is a cute sneeze."

He glares at her.

"Unbelievable." 

 

* * *

 

 

 _fish jesus_ created the group chat  _ **nico snez** , _12:14

**12:16  
I hate you.**

12:18  
BLESS

 _12:19  
_ _bless you and your tiny sneeze._

**12:21  
I don't have a**

**12:22  
TINY SNEEZE**

12:23  
aw.

12:25  
Your friends are great.

**12:26  
I demand a divorce.**

_12:27  
course not, I haven't been best man at the wedding yet._

12:28  
Excuse you, I'm best man.

**12:29  
NEITHER OF YOU ARE.**

12:31  
don't I get a say in this?

_12:31  
no_

_12:32  
you're gonna let Reyna do it, aren't you_

**12:33  
;)**

**12:34  
Why isn't she in here, though**

  _12:35  
Doesn't have time to chat, she says._

12:36  
You probably pissed her off. Best man goes to me.

12:38  
Are we going to incorporate Hannibal into this, somewhere?

12:39  
Hannibal

12:40  
???

12:41  
General Hannibal? Lecter Hannibal?

**12:43  
Will's boyfriend Hannibal.**

12:44  
pleased to see you've taken yourself into account, there.

**12:45  
THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEATN**

**12:46  
MEANT**

_12:47  
get a room_

_12:48  
also are we not the slightest bit concerned that a cannibal (other than neeks ofc) is attending his wedding wtf_

12:49  
Knowing him he could invite a serial killer and we'd sit there happily greeting them.

12:51  
i'm getting so much inside information from here.

_12:52  
take down notes, lover boy._

**12:54  
Please do not take down notes.**

12:55  
so a bloodred setting with red wine and human fingers as the appetisers.

12:56  
ugh. I'm eating rn.

_12:57  
piper's?_

12:59  
yes.

_13:01  
then continue, we're not spoiling anything._

13:03  
That's mean.

**13:04  
You won't understand till you try some of her stuff. We try to be encouraging and shit, but...**

_13:05  
man. she's terrible at it._

_13:06  
annabeth just slugged me in the crotch area. does she not want more children?_

**13:08  
tmi**

13:09  
tmi

_13:11  
fine, you prudes._

_13:12  
annabeth says hi, by the way. lover boy._

13:14  
Hi, Annabeth.

_13:15  
she approves. polite boy._

**13:16  
We're dating, not engaged.**

13:17  
someday ;)

**13:19**  
oh my god

_13:21  
wink wonk_

**[You sent a media file to the group nico snez. View?]**

 

* * *

 

 

**22:00  
Will?**

22:01  
mmhm, sweetheart?

**22:03  
Do you camp by the phone or something?**

**22:04  
You always answer so quickly.**

22:05  
Well, we are on term hols.

22:06  
I have you on special notif alert ;)

22:07  
Just in case you want to showcase more of your pretty hands.

  **[You sent a media file to My Will To Carry On. View?]**

 

22:10  
Bless you.

**22:12  
** **shut up.**

**22:13  
...love you.**

22:14  
You sweetheart.

22:15  
get some sleep, I'm comin' to get you for a hike tomorrow.

**22:17  
I don't hike.**

22:18  
what, it gets your pretty hair all frizzy?

22:19  
c'mon. it'll be fun. I invited jackson and co.

**22:22  
Oh my god.**

**22:23  
fine. **

22:24  
love you.

**22:25  
Love you.**

22:26  
What, I don't get a good night kiss selfie or a voice message for that?

**[You sent a media file to My Will To Live. View?]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, my favourite headcanon is that Piper can't cook for shit but no one will tell her that.
> 
> On a more serious note:
> 
> I'm not planning to abandon this fic but I do kinda want to take a break from it for a while. And I'm v v sorry because I do know that I take very long breaks and don't usually make up for them but I'm just really busy so far and I want to focus on other shit. I will be updating but sparsely; most of the story is done with and these are just pure fluff chapters. 
> 
> I also want to sort of expand this fic into a series? if this makes sense. because it seems to have escalated far further from the text! au and while that's great and i'm very happy y'all are enjoying it it kind of defeats the purpose in itself. so I'll be taking suggestions on what I should do in that department. Breaking it down would also probably help in how fast and of high-quality I can crank out more Solangelo goodness ;) but I won't make any decisions till I really make up my mind.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading through.


End file.
